Whats your funniest joke?!
Question: 10 pts ttto the 1 that makes me laugh the hardest!
Answers: 10 pts ttto the 1 that makes me laugh the hardest!
One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out.
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.
The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.
The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"
The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
its a Mexican joke but okay....one day a plane crashed into a cemetery and they called a police officer to help them and the worker told the officer "hey come over and help me because a plane has crashed in a cemetery. the other guy asks why and he responds "because we've found hundreds of dead bodies here.
a sheriffs office in the town was hiring a duputy position.
a blonde walks in and asks about the job and says that she is interested.
the sheriff says ok for the interview i'm going to ask you a series of questions. the blonde agrees.
sheriff " ok the first question is easy, WHATS 1 and 1"?
the blonde replies " 11 "
the sheriff thought about it and she was right, he didn't say what one plus one?
he says ok next question. What are days of the week that start with a " T "?
the blonde says " Today and Tomorrow"
the sherriff stunnd by her outside the box thinking is getting excited b/c this is what the sheriff dept. needs.
he said, ok last question " who killed abe lincoln?"
the blond sat there and thought for a moment then she had to admit, " i have no idea"
the sherrif already made his pick, so he sends her on her way and tells her, " GO home and think about who killed abe lincoln and you come back when you find out, OK?"
so the blonde leaves and goes to the beauty shop, where all of her friends are. all of her friends ask " OMG LIKE HOW DID THE interview go?
the blonde replies " I"m already hired"
"WOW" says her friends " already? that was very fast"
the blonde says " i know i'm already working on my first murder case."
--------------------------------------...
hey you down there
to a the music inside you
" Touche' "
--------------------------------------...
NOW FOR THE FINALLY
--------------------------------------...
oh your going to like this one sorry to all the midgets on here
i mean you no harm
One night these two midget brothers walk into a bar and one says "Man I'm tired of screwing midget girls lets screw real women." So the other guy agreed.
5 minutes later two blonde's walk into the bar and sit by the two midgets.
So the four of them get talking and the midgets ask if they want to come to there hotel rooms and stay the night and have sex.
So the two blonde's decide to go.
In the first room the blonde and the midget were getting it on when the midget says "Oh baby, I'm sorry this has never happened before, but I can't get hard"
So they give up and lay down to go asleep. But through the wall from the second room they hear "1, 2, 3 uh 1, 2, 3 uh", which keeps up all night long.
So the next day after the blonde's leave the brothers meet each other again and discuss how there night went.
The first midget says "Oh, my night was terrible. I just couldn't get hard."
The second midget replies "Mine was worse than that"
"What do you mean" said the first guy. "I heard you going "1, 2, 3 uh all night long".
To which the second guy replies "Yeah! I couldn't get on the damn bed"
1. A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
2. A blonde walks angrily to the front desk in the library, and says “This book is boring, it has no plot, and too many characters.”
The libraian said “Oh, so you‘re the one who took our phone book…..”
3.
by btay0o9 Member since:
May 30, 2007
Total points:
474 (Level 2)
Add to My Contacts
Block User
a sheriffs office in the town was hiring a duputy position.
a blonde walks in and asks about the job and says that she is interested.
the sheriff says ok for the interview i'm going to ask you a series of questions. the blonde agrees.
sheriff " ok the first question is easy, WHATS 1 and 1"?
the blonde replies " 11 "
the sheriff thought about it and she was right, he didn't say what one plus one?
he says ok next question. What are days of the week that start with a " T "?
the blonde says " Today and Tomorrow"
the sherriff stunnd by her outside the box thinking is getting excited b/c this is what the sheriff dept. needs.
he said, ok last question " who killed abe lincoln?"
the blond sat there and thought for a moment then she had to admit, " i have no idea"
the sherrif already made his pick, so he sends her on her way and tells her, " GO home and think about who killed abe lincoln and you come back when you find out, OK?"
so the blonde leaves and goes to the beauty shop, where all of her friends are. all of her friends ask " OMG LIKE HOW DID THE interview go?
the blonde replies " I"m already hired"
"WOW" says her friends " already? that was very fast"
the blonde says " i know i'm already working on my first murder case."
There you go.
One day little timmy comes home from school.
His mom asks him, "how was school timmy?"
He goes,"good, i f**ked my teacher today."
His dad was very proud of him and gave him a high five.
So later on that day, they went to go get a new bike for little Timmy.
They spotted a nice bike and got it.
When they got home, His dad said,
"Timmy, go try out your new bike."
He goes, I can't. "My butt is to sore from Fu**ing my teacher."
Ahahaha! Get it?
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of
corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.
"Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in
with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up."
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think
Pa would like me to."
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't
like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better
now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish !" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way,
where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, the authorized angel tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
The angel snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. The Angel is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, The Angel asks for credentials. Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
The Angel says, "Go ahead." Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. The Angel claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then The Angel looks up and sees George W. Bush. The Angel scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
The Angel sighs and says, "Come on in, George."
The teacher is giving out the results of the students exam..
Teacher: Morris, you got 99% grade for your exam.
Morris:Yes. Take that my stupid classmates! You guys are just a bunch of retards. I am smarter than all of you. You guys just go home you lowlife pea brains!
Teacher: The rest got 100%
^__^.
ok i have a few 1.how do you circumcize a red neck?kick his sister in the jaw!lol
2.what do you call 2 black guys in a hot tub?hot chocolate
#3 what do you call a gay miget?a low blow
hope i made you laugh a little