Has anyone got any good blonde jokes?!
Question: in blonde but i love em lol the best one so far is ...
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pantsand all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand
why they were killing each other over 25 cents
"Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback!
Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!
Answers: in blonde but i love em lol the best one so far is ...
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pantsand all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand
why they were killing each other over 25 cents
"Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback!
Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!
My favourites:
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are...very slowly?" The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing.
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A blonde and a brunette are walking past a flower shop.
The brunette sees her boyfriend inside and says: "Oh no, my boyfriend is inside buying me flowers again."
The blonde asks: "Why is that so bad?"
The brunette says:"Every time he buys me flowers, he expects something in return and I don't feel like spending the entire weekend with my legs in the air."
The blonde asks:"Why, don't you have a vase?
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A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, I have a complaint!?
Yes, Ma'am??said the librarian looking up at her.
I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!?
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked What was wrong with it??
It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!?said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, Ohhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book.?
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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back!
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An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.
You can't get out of your room??the captain asked, Why not?
The stewardess replied, There are only three doors in here,?she cried, One is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says, Do Not Disturb??
If you like it 10 points pls
I don't, but that ones really funny! You might be able to find a website with some good ones if you google it.
A blond died her hair brown because she was tired of being picked on, She was driving along the countryside when she got a bright idea and stopped at a nearby farm. she said to the farmer "If i can tell you how many sheep you have in total can I have one?" "ok" said the farmer, so she quickly counted them and said 91. The farmer looked around astonished and said "alright take one" As she was walking back to her car the farmer said "If i can guess your natural hair colour can i have my dog back?"
A blonde was driving on a highway in her convertible when she spotted another blonde in a rowboat in a corn field adjacent to the highway. The blonde in the convertible yelled to her counterpart, "Look at you. That's just plain stupid. It's people like you that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come over there and kick your butt!"
Here's one that I have liked for years. I had to find it on the web again because I don't have the original email I got it in but here goes:
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A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table.
The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed children's jigsaw puzzle. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"
The blonde who brought in the picture explains, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together.
"The side of the box said 2 to 4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"
Ha ha. That one's funny,,,
how do you get a blonde to laugh on Monday tell her a joke on Friday..
that was a good one. a blonde called 911 and reported someone stoled her radio and her steering wheel out of her car.. when they got there she was sitting in the back seat of her car.. duh..
to blondes walk in two a bar........................................ think one would have seen it
a blonde a brunet and a red head are on the run from the cops the three of them come to a farm and hide in potato sacks the cops pull up and check the bags the first one is the brunet and she says woof when the cop goes to pick up the bag the cop say its ok tom its only a dog in this one
he goes to pick up the second and before he dose the redhead says meow
again the cop says to his partner its ok only a cat the cop then proceeds to check the third bag and just as he is about to the blonde hiding in it says potato
Very good joke.Yisi's is also good.
there was a blond, a brunette, and a mexican. they were walking in the woods and got caught by indians. the indians tied up the mexican and said " any last words before we kill you? "
the mexican points and says " agua! " the indians turn around while the mexican escape
the indians turn to the brunette and says " any last words? " the brunette points and says " hurricane! " when the indians turn the brunette escapes.
the indians then turn to the blond and says " any last wrods before you die? " then the blond points and says " fire! " then the indians fire at her head with the gun.
there was a blond and a brunette getting ready to go to the mall, right when they are about to leave the blond ask " can you wait here for a second? i want a cup of orange juice." so the brunette says ok and the blond goes inside for the juice.
the brunette sits and the car and starts waiting and waiting until it pases an hour later. the brunette wonders why it is taking so long and she goes inside the house. when she enters she sees her friend staring at a cup of orange juice! the brunette ask " why are you staring at the juice? " then the blond says " i am staring at the juice because it is made from concentrate!"
once there was a blond that lived with her husband that worked in the mornings. when the husband left to work the blond started a puzzle that she bought at the store. 4 hours later the blond calls her husband from work crying and says " honey can you please come home there is a problem going on!!" the husband then says " honey whats wrong why are you crying?" the blond then says " i bought this puzzles and everytime i try to put a pieces where its supposed to go it keeps breaking! " ok ill come over im done with work already." so the husbadn leaves work to see his wife at home. when he enters the house he ask if he could see the puzzle. the blond show her husband the puzzle and he just stares at her for a while. he says " honey you called me all the way from work so i could see the puzzle correct? " she says yes. " and i hope you know thats not a puzzle.... its a cereal box, you are playing with corn flakes not a puzzle."
one day a blond was shopping for a T.V and went down to the store. she went inside and asked is she could buy the T.V in the window at the front of the store. the clerk tells her no because she is blond. the blond gets angry and leaves to go dye her hair red then comes back. " excuse me but, can i buy that T.V in the window?" the clerk looks at her and says, " no because you are blond " then the blond ask " how do you know i am blond i even dyed my hair! " the clerk looks at her and says " i did not say you were blond i said you were blind! that is not a T.V that is a microwave! "
heheheh
THAT WAS OKAY !!!!!!!!!!!HASN'T SHE HEARD ABOUT A FOOTBALL GAME BEFORE I'VE HEARD THAT BLONDE'S ARE A LITTLE SLOW