BEST AWNSER if you make me laugh more than every one else does then i will give !
Question: here are the ruels!!! 1).the joke has to be short i will not read a joke that takes more than 15 lines. 2). you will be diqualified if you post more than one joke i dont care how funny they are.
thats all of the ruels, but i like blonde jokes, and dirty jokes, but if you obey the 2 ruels i will read your joke and if its good i will consider it, so good luck. this will end at 7:39 that is 4 hours so hurry up and post. 04/04/2008
Answers: here are the ruels!!! 1).the joke has to be short i will not read a joke that takes more than 15 lines. 2). you will be diqualified if you post more than one joke i dont care how funny they are.
thats all of the ruels, but i like blonde jokes, and dirty jokes, but if you obey the 2 ruels i will read your joke and if its good i will consider it, so good luck. this will end at 7:39 that is 4 hours so hurry up and post. 04/04/2008
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into
Wal-Mart with her two kids,
yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly 'Good morning, and
welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no
they ain't twins.'
'The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you
think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter. 'I just
couldn't believe someone made love to you twice.
'Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
what position makes the ugliest babies?ask your momma lol
your just gay.
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
Guy who is impotent has been using a strap on to service his wife for the past 15 years.
One night she flips on the light and says
"hey, whats with the strap on:"
He says
"hey, whats with the 2 kids?"
ok a blonde is at a casino with her friends and she wins a bunch of money. suddenly the blonde cashes out goes over to a coke machine and starts putting all her money in and pushing the button to give you a soda. her friends watch her do this for about half an hour when they finnaly go up to her and ask her what shes doing and by then she has like a hundred cokes and she says,"i'm winning!!!"
a blonde is in line at the grocery store and the teller asks her, paper or plastic? so the blonde looks in her wallet and says aaaaaa....cash! that was really me but don't tell anyone
What is the shortest English sentence?
Ans: I am.
What is the longest sentence?
Ans: I do.
A blonde and a burnette are walking down the street and the burnette stops and says "aawww look at the poor dead bird" the blonde looks up to the sky and says "where??? where???"
One day, a blonde was on a plane going to New York and one of the stewards came up and said, "Miss, can I please see you first class ticket?" The blonde said, "I'm blonde, I'm pretty and I can sit wherever I want." So the steward goes to the back and gets someone else to talk to the blonde. This man sweet talks the blonde a little and says, "You need to move to the other end of the plane." So again the blonde says, "I'm blonde, I'm pretty and I can sit wherever I want." The man gets the pilot and pilot whispers in the blondes ear. The blonde says, "Oh, okay", and she moves to the other end of the plane. The others there were like, "How did you do that?" and the pilot said, "I told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to new york."
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
a plane is full of blondes and one brunette. the bottom of the plane fell off and they will crash unless one person volunteers to let go of their chair and fall. the brunette offers to let go, all the blondes start clapping for her.
There is a little boy and girl playing in a sandbox.
The boy picks up his shovel and says to the girl i got one of these. the girl picks up here shovel and says i got one of those too. the boy picks up his truck and says i got one of these, the girl says i got one of those too. the boy is getting pissed, he picks up his gi joe and says i got one of these, the girl says i got one of those too. so the boy gets pissed and pulls his pants down and says i got one of these. the girl lifts up her skirt and says i got one of these, and with one of these i can get as many of those as i want.
Two little babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?"
"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.
"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.
"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply.
"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll climb into your crib and find out."
He carefully manoeuvred himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets.
After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face.
"You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly. "You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?"
"It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy, "you've got pink socks and I've got blue ones."
SHAME ON YOU, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???
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OK a mail guy is on his last day on the job and everyone is giving him presents so a wife (blonde) tells her husband that they should get him something so the husband said f*** him give him a dollar. so when the mail man came to their house and the wife took him upstairs and made love to him. the next morning he wook up went downstairs and the blonde had made breakfast for him and next to the breakfast was a dollar, when the husband saw the man he asked what he was doing here, the wife tolled him that he tolled her to f*** and give him a dollar, but the breakfast was here idea. lol
Two bored old ladies are sitting on a park bench. One says, “For five bucks I’ll streak through the flower show across the street.” They shake on it.
Waiting outside the flower show, her friend soon hears a commotion in the convention hall, followed by loud applause. Then the naked granny bursts out through the door with a cheering crowd behind her.
“What happened?” asks her friend.
“I won first prize for best dried arrangement!”
Blonde gets on plane "I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to Florida" She takes a seat in 1st class.
Attendant tells her she is in wrong seat, she has to move to the economy seating. "No", she says, "I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to Florida"
Passenger assigned that seat shows his ticket and asks her to move. Again she declines, saying, "I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to Florida".
Attendant gets the Captain and explains the problem. He leans over and whispers in blonde's ear. She gets up and moves to the economy class cabin.
"What did you say to her"?? Everyone asks in surprise.
"Oh," says the captain, " I just told her this part of the plane wasn't going to Florida!!""
I hope that meets all of your "rules"
Two blondes in texas are having a discussion, one blonde asks the other which do you think is farther, the moon or florida? The other replys DUH!! The moon. Can you see florida??
A man is driving his cute little girl to piano lessons. A woman quickly cuts the man off. Hes mad wants to give the lady the finger but his young daughter is in the car.Little does he know this lady just cut off some guys dick and she tossed it out her window and splat hits the mans windshield. Shocked and nerves he tries to get the dick off his window before his daughter sees it. He used his windshield wipers, then with fluid even on high the penis would not come off. So he stops his truck rushes out and gets the penis off the window. He gets back in a starts driving, hoping his daughter didn't see. But she did and she ask " Daddy what was that? Oh that was a bug ,honey. And the girl says "Boy daddy that bug sure had a big dick"
what do u call a prehistoric lesbian ??? ....
A ... a lickalotofpuss
1.there are 4 girls one girls hair is green the other girl is 2.puple and the other girl is red. the last girl asks them how 3.they got there hair to be that color. the red head siad i died 4.it the purple girl said i died it and the green haired girl says 5.it is all natural while whipping her nose andputting the snot 6.on her hand into her hair.
7.it is funnier in person LoL
First of all your too bossy, none of us are gonna die if we dont get your little measly 10 points!!
make us laugh dammit, not harass us. the nerve of some people.
How do you shack a fat woman?You find the wet spot!Lol!
there was a man walking in the desert and he found a magic lamp, he picked it up and rubbed it. a genie came out and told him that he would grant him one wish. so the man thought and thought and he said i want you to make me a highway from here to Hawaii and the genie said no that would take a lot of time and materials! i can't do that pick another wish so the man says i wish i knew how women think.the genie made a face and said how many lanes?
why did the one handed chicken cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop!!!!!!!
Here is one:
"There is a similarity between women and clouds, Sooner or later both of them F*** off, and its a beautiful day again !"
i hope i wont get reported for this, its just a joke
theres 3 girls on a firing rannge,1,2,3,3 is blonde
the shooters ask one if she has any last words, she says, hey, a hurricane, they look away and she runs
the same with number2, but with a tornado
but when they ask three, she says no, and then yells: Look a fire, and they shoot her
this is a cool one
Where does an achoolic get a free drink
Church
im never going to die!!!! *why?* because heaven won't accept me and hell is afraid i'll take over.
I lost my virginity, can I take yours?
(Pickup Line)
Your mother doesn't even have legs, talking about she's "running for president"!