Does this make sense and rate my poem?!
Question: Does this make sense? It will go in my poem.?
My mouth is oh so dry
But my eyes are far from so.
_______________________
This is my poem. Please tell if you like it or not. No reasons please. THIS IS A ROUGH DRAFT AND I'M NOT FINISHED.
I stare into those dying eyes
That were once alive and shown so bright
But now the fire's just a flame
Seeing death is such a sight
I watch behind my shaking hands
As her shakes start to cease
My hands are white, as is her face
I hear her start to wheeze
The coldness slowly creeps up on her
Like a spider on the kill
The stiffness started spreading
Dying is so cruel
Answers: Does this make sense? It will go in my poem.?
My mouth is oh so dry
But my eyes are far from so.
_______________________
This is my poem. Please tell if you like it or not. No reasons please. THIS IS A ROUGH DRAFT AND I'M NOT FINISHED.
I stare into those dying eyes
That were once alive and shown so bright
But now the fire's just a flame
Seeing death is such a sight
I watch behind my shaking hands
As her shakes start to cease
My hands are white, as is her face
I hear her start to wheeze
The coldness slowly creeps up on her
Like a spider on the kill
The stiffness started spreading
Dying is so cruel
Yes, I love it. It brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for the memories.
u are only twelve????
that is soooo nice, i liked it really!
that was great i wud like to hear your finished product
omg, that's frickin amazing!!! kudos! i suck at poems but you, you got a gift. pursue it