New Definitions - funny or not?!
Question: Atom Bomb :
An invention to end all inventions.
Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Classic :
A book which people praise, but do not read.
Committee :
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Criminal :
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work.
Diplomat :
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Divorce :
Future tense of marriage.
Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Miser :
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Opportunist :
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Answers: Atom Bomb :
An invention to end all inventions.
Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Classic :
A book which people praise, but do not read.
Committee :
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Criminal :
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work.
Diplomat :
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Divorce :
Future tense of marriage.
Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Miser :
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Opportunist :
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
very good and so true!!
Those are soo true and very funny!
So true....lol
Haha nice!
very good lol
very nice. gud ones.
LOL. I love them!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
HAHA! How funny! You deserve a star!
there good
those are great. thanks
great list.
Funny but true observations.
ha ha ha, very good list hun, and funny, lol