Any 1 got any good jokes for my bros wedding plzzzzz?!


Question: two things i did when giving a speech.
1. i gave out loads of keys to most of the men in attendance, and started my speech with the line. " now that jane is officially off the single circuit, could anyone with a key to her flat bring it up the front now... the looks on peoples faces when about twenty blokes and two girls walked up the front and put keys on the table was priceless. some were even pretending to cry.
2. i said about my best man.... alex, suave, sophisticated and debonair... and thats just three of the words har cant spell.

good luck x


Answers: two things i did when giving a speech.
1. i gave out loads of keys to most of the men in attendance, and started my speech with the line. " now that jane is officially off the single circuit, could anyone with a key to her flat bring it up the front now... the looks on peoples faces when about twenty blokes and two girls walked up the front and put keys on the table was priceless. some were even pretending to cry.
2. i said about my best man.... alex, suave, sophisticated and debonair... and thats just three of the words har cant spell.

good luck x

my brothers gettin married too!

i know this dont really answer your question, but you'll get some

Marriage is like a university... for those who like unversitys.

if your giving a speech, the best one to use is to say:
*name* is a kind loving fantastic.... *name* I cant read your writing here mate.
then continue

Yeh, I met this girl and she reminded me of my mother, she looked like her, she talked like her, she cooked like her. I brought her home to meet my parents and my father didn't like her. LMAO (old joke but still makes them laugh)

Where do girls with one leg work....
IHOP pshtthaha lol jk
umm lets see here
Whats 69 squared (square root)......... 8(ate) something
Why is italy shaped like a boot...... cuz you cant put all that food in a shoe

Here are a few

The three rings of marriage, first comes the engagement ring, next the wedding ring, and last the suffer ring.

May all your life's ups and downs be in between the sheets.

A woman accompanied her husband to his doctor’s checkup. After the husband was thoroughly examined, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
The doctor gravely told the wife, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die soon, perhaps within a few weeks. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
She replied matter-of-factly, “He said you have a severe disorder, but you still have a few weeks to live."

have you heard the blackbirds mating call?
shove it in leroy!..

Collect a lot of keys from the wedding party/friends WITHOUT the bride and groom's knowledge. Pass them out to as many women as possible (swearing them to secrecy). During your speech, announce the "The bride realises that the groom has had a lot of girlfriends over the years. She would appreciate it if any of them who have keys to his place could please return them." This is the cue for all the women to bring their keys to the wedding party table. Try to get a couple of pregnant women in the group and maybe somebody's grandma.

Funny redneck

A couple are getting married in a big fancy church with all of the relatives and friends in attendance.
The priest is going through the normal procedure and when he comes to the part If anyone objects to the union of these two people in Holy Matrimony let them speak now or for ever hold their peace.
A redneck in the back row jumps up and hollers I object, I am in love with her and she's carrying my baby
As the gathering gasps in surprise the redneck runs up the aisle, shoves the groom aside and rips off the brides veil.
After a moment of silence the redneck exclaims, Hey you ain't my girl.



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