Okay this series of jokes drove me nuts!! what abt u? plz can u rate them?!
Question: Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as
her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands
together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll
around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could
relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man
replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping
his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he
finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened
his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and
artful massage for several long moments and asked 'How does that
feel?'
He replied, 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'
~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~
A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of romaine lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the
cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this
proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I
was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw
nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have
tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?" The
drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
That’s it 4 now folks!!
Answers: Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as
her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands
together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll
around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could
relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man
replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping
his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he
finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened
his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and
artful massage for several long moments and asked 'How does that
feel?'
He replied, 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'
~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~
A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of romaine lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the
cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this
proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I
was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw
nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have
tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?" The
drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
That’s it 4 now folks!!
haha....thehy r class!
thanks for the laugh!
*star* for u..
xx =] xx
the first one and the last one were hilarious!
ROFLMAO now those were funny
10/10
the first n the last were good jokes ........
niceeee hahaha :D
Thanks the 3 were great,,, nice one....lol
They were all funny - thanks for a laugh
those are great!!! especially the 1st and last
one was good.......so star for one and not the others
loved 'em