Tell me a funny joke that made you cry from laughing so hard?!
Question: Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
She tended to fall asleep all the time
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" and she was sleeping and didn't hear her so little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her poked her with a pen and she woke up and yelled "GOD ALMIGHTY!" and the teacher said, "Very good" and and she fell back to sleep again.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is gods son," and again Johnny came to the rescue and poked her again. ’JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT ******* THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHoVE IT UP YOUR ***!"
Answers: Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
She tended to fall asleep all the time
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" and she was sleeping and didn't hear her so little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her poked her with a pen and she woke up and yelled "GOD ALMIGHTY!" and the teacher said, "Very good" and and she fell back to sleep again.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is gods son," and again Johnny came to the rescue and poked her again. ’JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT ******* THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHoVE IT UP YOUR ***!"
When four of Santa's elves
got sick, the trainee elves did not produce Toys as fast as the regular
ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus
told Santa her Mother was Coming To visit, which stressed Santa even
more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of
them were About to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were
out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the
Floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys Were
scattered. So, frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of Apple
cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he
discovered the elves had drank all The Cider and hidden the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally Dropped The cider jug, and it Broke
into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went
to get the broom and found the mice Had Eaten all the straw off the end of
the broom. Just then the doorbell Rang, and irritated Santa marched to the
door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree. The angel said Very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa.
Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you
like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little
angel on top of the Christmas Tree.
hehe i love that one
funny everytime i hear it!
The last part i did not like becuase that did the teacher say after , "IF YOU STICK THAT ******* THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHoVE IT UP YOUR ***!"?????????????????????
A duck hunter was out enjoyinga nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak.
He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun.
Just then a gust of wind blew, The gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed he was approched by his doctor.
"Well, sir. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK, the damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot,. The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive damage to your penis. I am going to have to refer you to my brother."
"Oh, well I guess that isn't too bad," the man replied "is your brother a plastic surgeon?"
"Not exactly," answered the doctor. "He's a flute player in the local symphony and he's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye!"
You stole my answer. lol
An African-American freshman was walking across the Harvard Quad. He noticed an upperclassman and called out, "Hey, man, where's the library at?"
"Excuse me," the stodgy upperclassman snapped. "This is Harvard University. Here we end neither our sentences nor questions with prepositions."
"I can dig that," the street-wise freshman huffed. "So where's the library at motherf**ker?!"
there's this blind man hoo wants to cross the street and he has this blindseeing eye dog and the dog starts to piss on the guys leg. so the man takes out a treat and hands it to the dog.
another man standing by him said. you know your dog just took a piss on your leg right?
so the blind guy says. yes it a bad habit and im trying to break him of it
so the man says. well your not going to get very far if you give him a treat every time he does it
so the blind guy says. im not giving him a treat im trying to find hes head so i can kick hes ***!
How about one that isn't so crude?
A blonde goes to the post office 40 times in one day.
Finally, the postman there asks her why she keeps coming. She says "because my computer keeps telling me I have mail."
it was funny i will tell one of my jokes now its so don't take it series OK you mo mm is so old when she fart she frat out dust
Lol its funny hahaha
.There was a kid that had gambling problems.
.Him and his dad just moved in a town.
.The dad said to the teacher that he has gambling problems.
.The teacher said that she would take care of it.
.The kid bet with the teacher $10 that she would not take her pants off and show him her but.
.And then she did.
.The kid gave her $10 and went home.
The dad yelled at the teacher and said: you idiot! I bet him $100 that you would not show her your but.
There was a old man in the middle of the sea and A lifeboat came, and he said: leave me alone, God will save me. Another life boat came and he said the same, then another boat came and he said the same. He died and went to heaven and ask god why he wasn't saved, god replied: YOU IDIOT, I SENT YOU 3 LIFEBOATS!!!!!!!
LMFAO!!! LOL I GET IT!!!!