A few quickies.....sorry men?!


Question: One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
>>shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
>>"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
>>"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
>>He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
>
>>And they say blondes are dumb...
>>------------------------------------...
>>A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
>>"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
>>The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>>------------------------------------...
>>"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
>>of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
>>mowed the lawn like this?"
>>"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
>>------------------------------------...
>>He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
>>She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I
>>sit on the sofa and fart.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>>A: A rumor
>>------------------------------------...
>>A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>>wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and
>>said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have
>>one wish.
>>The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
>
>>Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>>The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
>>Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
>>Gotta love that fairy!
>>------------------------------------...
>>Dear Lord,
>>I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
>>Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
>>him to death.
>>AMEN
>>------------------------------------...
>>------------------------------------...
>>--------------------
>>Q: Why do little boys whine?
>>A: They are practicing to be men.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>>A: Trustworthy.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
>>calling your name?
>>A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>>A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>>A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"


Answers: One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
>>shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
>>"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
>>"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
>>He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
>
>>And they say blondes are dumb...
>>------------------------------------...
>>A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
>>"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
>>The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>>------------------------------------...
>>"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
>>of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
>>mowed the lawn like this?"
>>"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
>>------------------------------------...
>>He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
>>She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I
>>sit on the sofa and fart.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>>A: A rumor
>>------------------------------------...
>>A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>>wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and
>>said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have
>>one wish.
>>The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
>
>>Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>>The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
>>Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
>>Gotta love that fairy!
>>------------------------------------...
>>Dear Lord,
>>I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
>>Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
>>him to death.
>>AMEN
>>------------------------------------...
>>------------------------------------...
>>--------------------
>>Q: Why do little boys whine?
>>A: They are practicing to be men.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>>A: Trustworthy.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
>>calling your name?
>>A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>>A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>>------------------------------------...
>>Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>>A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

i think i speak for all the guys out there when i say these jokes are degrading, insensitive, sexist, politically incorrect, and downright insulting!

I LIKE IT!

LOL, these are great! :-)

lmao

LOL!!!
I LIKE THESE!

Thats funny, I especially love the washing machine one....

very very funny!!!!



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