Tell me some jokes, keep them short please?!
Question: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
...Breathe.
[: *~dRuMmErGiRl~* :]
Answers: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
...Breathe.
[: *~dRuMmErGiRl~* :]
y u shouldn't have sex in the kitchen?
u'll get burn
j
what did santa say when he walked into a room full of male prostitutes?
ho ho ho
to mammas soooo fat she thought cheerios wer doughnut seeds lol =o)
Why don't cannibals eat divorce women?
Because they're bitter.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square until Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked one of the corners off.
What did the vampire take when he was sick?
Coffin Drops!
why does the avon lady walk funny?
cos her lips stick...
why did the chicken crossed the streets?
to get to the other side.
Q: What do Eskimo's eat in the Antarctic?
A: Icebur-gers!
Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
I can't think any off the top of my head but I am eating a popscile and it has a lame one on the stick.
Q:What is a trees favorite fruit?
A: Pine-apple
Yo Mamma got so much space in her teeth that her tongue is screaming, ''get me out of jail!" hehe
What did the blonde say when she walked into a bar? Ouch
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Darn
What do you do when your wife is staggering? Shoot her again
Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was a salted
what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
what did the grape do when it got stepped on.......
It let out a little wine ( HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
crap i know :)
What did the orange say to the Banana?
Orange you glad you have an ugly bandana!
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA..
A Blonde & Her Thermos
A striking blonde woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object behind the counter, she asks, "What is that?"
The helpful store clerk responds, "Why, it's a thermos."
Still curious, the blonde asks, "What does it do?"
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," replies the clerk.
So she buys one....
The next day, she brings her new thermos to work with her.
Her boss, also a blonde, asks, "What's that shiny thingy?"
She replies with authority, "It's a thermos."
"Oh," says he, "And what's it do?"
"Well," says she, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
Then he asks, "So what do you have in there today?"
"Two cups of coffee and a Popsicle."
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
cuz the grass tickles their nuts.
How can you tell when a blondes having a bad day?
when her tampon's behind her ear and she cant find her pencil
so this guy takes a girl home from a club,and when they get home he goes i live with my grandama is that ok?she doesnt care.then he says they share a bunk bed,and she doesnt care.well they are having $ex and he says say lettece when you wanna change postions and sat tomoatoes when you wana change back.well she says Lettuce!!Tomatoes!!and the grandma says will you stop making sandwiches,your getting mayonaise all over!
What did the farmer say to the brown chicken and the brown cow when he saw them making out?
Answer: Brown Chicken Brown Cow (Bow Chica Wow Wow Voice)
Where do bees get their milk from?
Answer: Boobees
this guy thought he probably had the biggest penis in the world, so he looked in the guiness book of world records. his friend said, so, are you in there?
he said, no, but who the hell is olivia pilkington?
Creation vs Evolution has been settled!
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?"
The Mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made."
A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them."
The confused girl returns to her mother and says, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God , and Papa says we developed from monkeys?"
The Mother answers, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side.
what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.
Why was the 40 year old man still a virgin?
He was claustrophobic.
A man was driving a black truck through a busy town.
His lights were not on.
The moon was not out.
Suddenly a young girl stepped onto the road.
The man swerved to avoid her.
But how did he see her?
The answer is.........(drum role)................. It was a bright sunny day.
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Friday? Tell her a joke on Monday. How did the blonde break her arm while she was raking leaves? She fell out of the tree. Those are two blonde jokes. If you want more, read my source. There are a lot! OK?
Blind guy walks into a bar, orders a drink and asks the bartender if she wants to hear a 'blond' joke. The lady sitting next to him says, "Excuse me sir, but but before you tell that joke, you should know that the bartender is a blond and is holding a bat, the woman next to you is a blond and a professional weight lifter, the girl at the pool table behind you, holding a cue stick, is a blond and I'm a blond and a professional boxer. Now are you SURE you want to tell that blond joke?!"
The old man stops and thinks about it for a minute, then says,
"Nahhhhh, not if I have to explain it 4 times."
There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin goes, "oooh..it's hot in here." The other muffin goes, "Hey look, A talking muffin!"
eh..it's a bit old, but so what!
Here's a good joke site...
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index...
Why do people boil water when a baby is born? So if it comes out dead they can make soup.