Someone tell me a funny story....?!
Question: I am in a lot of pain and would like to be cheered up... so if anyone has a funny sotry they would like to share, please do so. Thanks!
Answers: I am in a lot of pain and would like to be cheered up... so if anyone has a funny sotry they would like to share, please do so. Thanks!
Vaseline
Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price. The motorcycle is missing a seal, though, so whenever it rains Steve has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Steve’s girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents one evening. He drives his new motorcycle to his girlfriend’s house.
She is waiting outside for him when he arrives. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word. Our family had a fight a while ago about doing the dinner dishes. We haven't done any since... and the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."
Steve sits down for dinner and soon notices that his girlfriend wasn’t exaggerating. It is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen and nobody is saying a word. Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her onto the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her father is obviously livid, and her mother is horrified. Yet, when Steve and his girlfriend resume their placs at the dinner table, nobody says a word.
A few minutes later, Steve grabs his girlfriend’s mom, throws her onto the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her father is boiling, and her mother is a little more pleased. But still, there is complete silence at the table.
Suddenly, there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle outside and so he jumps up and grabs his jar of Vaseline.
With a look of terror in his eyes, the girlfriend’s father backs away from the table and exclaims, "Okay, enough already, I'll do the damn dishes!"
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette.
They all decided to go to the bar and they got fake ids cause they were underage.
So they go in and the bartender knows they are underage so he call the cops.
The readhead informs the girls that the bartender has called the cops and they have to leave.
So they go out the back door and they see this barn.
They go inside and the redhead notices 3 potato sacks on the floor.
See tells the girls to each hide in a potato sack.
Then the police arrive in the bar, and the bartender takes them out back to look around.
They go into the barn and look everywhere.
One cop says "They might be in those potato sacks".
So he kicks the first one containing the redhead and hears "woof woof". "That's a dog" he thinks to himself.
He kicks the second bag containing the brunette and hears "Meow, meow" "Well that must be a cat" he thinks.
Finally, he kicks the last bag containing the blonde and hears in a slow voice "po...ta...to...es!"
From :
So today I was eating a cup of noodles... and my friend made me laugh, and i just exploded. it started with a cough, and then it came out of my mouth, and nose, and it was very embarrasing. just imagine noodles coming out of your nose. :) and i just couldnt stop laughing. and on top of it all i had to go to the bathroom so i had to stop myself from peeing my pants.
There are two workers working hard to build a big hole for their boss. It's a hot day, and they're tired and sweaty and working hard, while their boss sits under the cool shade of the trees from above. One worker asks, "Hey, how come we do all the work and our boss does nothing?" The other worker, says "I don't know. I'm gonna go up and ask him."
The worker climbs out of the hole and asks his boss why he doesn't have to work.
"That, my boy, is because of intelligence" the boss replied.
"What's intelligence?" the worker asks.
The boss lays his hand on the tree and tells the worker to hit his hand with his hammer as hard as possible. The worker strikes the boss's hand with the hammer, but the boss pulls out his hand just in time, and the hammer hits the tree.
"That is intelligence" he said.
So the worker climbed back down the hole.
"What did he say?" asked the other worker.
"He said it was because of intelligence," the worker replied.
"What's intelligence?"
The worker laid his hand flat onto his face.
"Take your hammer and hit it as hard as possible onto my hand."
You can only guess what happened.
kinda long
earlier this yr a had a science teacher who couldnt keep my class under control( he quit not cus of us cus of 6th gr.) [ my class is small(11 kids) but crazy]
anyway me my frend bob( im making up names carly samantha jenny and becky were sitting together on a table in the scince lab so im doing this impossible test everyone is pretty much cheating infront of the teacher then i raise my head a little only to see a shiny gold zipper
so i start gigling and tell my frend becky
becky tellls samantha
samantha tells jenny
and jenny tells bob
bob is a crazy kid w/ add( not making fun of him)
so my idiot frnd bob screams "Hey mr.schneider(real name) XYZ(xamine ur zipper)
my teacher says "oh thank u"
turns around and zips his zipper
lol!!!
it was soo hilarious 2 wks l8r he left
-lola<3
This man and a duck went into this bar, and the bartender says, "hey, you can't bring that monkey in here!" And the the man says, "thats not a monkey, its a duck!" The bartender says, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
or -
What do you do with a dog with no legs?
You take it for a drag.
or -
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
I hope you feel better soon.
A cop getting arrested. Ah-hah-hah
Yeah I got a funny story what was the smartest thing to ever *** out of a womans mouth. Give Up ................ Einstein's Cock --------)