Tell me a joke that made you laugh so hard it hurt?!
Question: Little Johnny asks his dad, is god a man or a women and then he says both then he asks his dad is god black or white and he says both, then he asks his dad is god Michael Jackson?
Answers: Little Johnny asks his dad, is god a man or a women and then he says both then he asks his dad is god black or white and he says both, then he asks his dad is god Michael Jackson?
once there was a girl who couldnt stop sleeping in class, so one day she was sleeping in religion class and the teacher asked who do we worhip,she was asleep so the boy behind her jabbed her with his pen, she jumped up an said JESUS CHRIST, very good said the nun. she fell back asleep, the nun asked who is the creator of the univeres,the boy jabbed her with his pen, she jumped up and said GOD ALMIGHTY. very good said the nun,once again she fell back to sleep.the nun asked what did eve say to adam when he wanted a 25th child,the boy jabbed her again she jumped up and sais IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF!!
3 men hiking in a forest get lost, a tribe of cannibals finds them, the king of this tribe tells them if you complete a test you may live fail an you die. so for the first part of the test he sends them out to each find 10 piece of the same fruit. 1st guy returns with 10 apples king tells him if you get all 10 up your bum with out a single facial movement you pass, first one goes in but on the second one he flinches from pain and gets killed instantly, second guy gets back king explains to him, well he has 10 berries so no problem, 1,..2...3..4..5..6..7..8.. and on the 9 one he looks over and bursts out laughing, so he dies instantly. 2 weeks later in the after life guy 1 sees guy 2 and says you almost had it what did you laugh for ?? guy 2 says i couldn't help it i saw the other guy coming with pineapples!
your joke sucks, it wasn't even funny. I bet you've got problems for laughing so hard. Now that made me laugh!
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"
"I can't jump out the window ~ It's raining out there!" "If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out of the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could.
After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. "Do you always run in the nude?" one asked. "Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"
Another runner moved a long side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you?" "Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!
A third runner looked down and asked "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" "Only when it rains." he replied.
I really don't want to hurt you Cody.