Two blondes on a roof?!
Question: Two blonds were roofing a house. They had been up there a couple hours when one of them noticed the other one kept taking nails out of her apron, looking at them, and occasionally throwing them over the side.
After a few minutes she asked the other blond what the deal was.
The other blond looks at her confused. Then answers:
Well...I keep taking the nails out of my apron, and some of them are pointing towards the roof so I go ahead and nail them in, but some of them are pointing towards me so they're OBVIOUSLY defective. Why keep them?
The first blond gives her a mean look and says:
You IDIOT. It's morons like you that give us blonds a bad reputation.
Those nails are for the OTHER side of the roof.
Best answer will go to whoever answers with the best blond joke. (other than this one of course)
Answers: Two blonds were roofing a house. They had been up there a couple hours when one of them noticed the other one kept taking nails out of her apron, looking at them, and occasionally throwing them over the side.
After a few minutes she asked the other blond what the deal was.
The other blond looks at her confused. Then answers:
Well...I keep taking the nails out of my apron, and some of them are pointing towards the roof so I go ahead and nail them in, but some of them are pointing towards me so they're OBVIOUSLY defective. Why keep them?
The first blond gives her a mean look and says:
You IDIOT. It's morons like you that give us blonds a bad reputation.
Those nails are for the OTHER side of the roof.
Best answer will go to whoever answers with the best blond joke. (other than this one of course)
There was a guy and his blonde wife driving by a feild, in the iddle of the feild there was a boat with a blonde fishing off the side. But there was NO water anywhere. Finally the guys wife got mad and told him to pull the car over, so he did. His wife stepped out of the car and screamed, "Hey, what are you doing?! It's bloonde's like you that give us bad names! If i could swim i would come over there and beat you up!"
Another:
There was a blonde, she called her boyfriend and told him, "I just bought this jigsaw puzzle, but no matter what I do it doesn't look like the picture, come help."
He asked her what it looked like she told him a tiger.
So he came over and asked where it was, she pointed to it, he looksed, sighed, "First, calm down and get a drink, second, no matter what you do you're not going to be able to make ANYTHING that resembles a tiger, third... lets put ALL the Frosted Flakes BACK in the box."
Last one:
There are 3 girls, a blonde a burnette and a red-head. They are on a boat, 100 miles from shore when it runs out of gas. The burnette swims 30 miles, get tired and drowns. The red-head swims 60 miles, get tired, and drowns. The blonde swims 99 miles, gets tired and swims ALL THE WAY BACK.
1. On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
I like it .
making fun of blond es
Two people walk into an elevater. A blond and brunnette.
The blond says " T-G-I-F "
The Brunnette says "S-H-I-T"
The blond keeps repeating "T-G-I-F"
And brunette keeps saying " S-H-I-T"
Finally the blond says "T-G-I-F stands for thank god its friday, see?" Then the brunette says " I know, S-H-I-T stands for Sorry honey it's thursday"
A blonde and a brunette were driving by a cornfeild. There was this blonde canoeing throught the feild. So the blonde gets out of the car and yells out to the blonde in the feild "Its blondes like you who give us a bad name if i knew how to swim I would come out there and kick you ***!"
That one is like yours so I figured I would put it!
there are two adopted twins a brunette and a blonde. the foster mother of the two sisters is having her birthday party. the sisters want to throw her a party.so the brunette gets 500 dollars to go buy a bull at a local ranch to kill for food, while the blonde calls up family/gets decorations,etc. things of that sort. well the brunette goes to the ranch to buy the bull and asks the man how much he wants for the best bull he has, well the man says 499 dollars. the brunette agrees to buy it. so now she is at the ranch vechicale-less with one dollar left to spend. so she walks to a local telegraph station and telegrams her sister so the brunette asks the guy how much is it to send a telegram. the man says a dollar per word. she explains to the man she only has a dollar. and she need to tell her sister to come pick up the bull for their mothers birthday. the man says well theres nothing i can do for you. the brunette says waitt!!! i know. i'll simply tell my sister "comfortable" confused the man asks that has nothing to do with this so the girl explains no my sister is a blonde so she'll read it slowly like this "com-for-da-bull".
This blonde woman was having financial troubles, when she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag
behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow by 7 AM.
Signed - “The Blonde”
She pinned the note inside the boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in
a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Also
inside the bag was the following note:
Here is your money. I just can't believe one blonde would does this to another!