Can you add to my list of 1 liners please? (joke)?!
Question: Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?"
Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF -- he vanishes.
--------------------------------------...
What's the difference between a man and Bigfoot?
One is covered with matted hair and smells awful. The other has big feet.
--------------------------------------...
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
--------------------------------------...
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
--------------------------------------...
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
--------------------------------------...
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
--------------------------------------...
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Answers: Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?"
Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF -- he vanishes.
--------------------------------------...
What's the difference between a man and Bigfoot?
One is covered with matted hair and smells awful. The other has big feet.
--------------------------------------...
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
--------------------------------------...
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
--------------------------------------...
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
--------------------------------------...
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
--------------------------------------...
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
ADULT A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS The only creatures you eat before they are
born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF Cold Storage.
INFLATION Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN Grape with sunburn.
SECRET Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
YAWN An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES Something other people have. You have character lines!!!
Do unto others as they do unto you........................................ do it first!
The meek shall inherit the earth......Yes! All 6x8x3 of it!
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.....until you realise the other meaning of the word 'lies!.
Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something.
YOUR MOM!!
!!!!
These are very funny but i can't help with the one liners.
haha
ha ha! those are really funny.
i do not know any one liners that are funny. i know others though.