My favourite joke/riddle! Whats yours?!


Question: Subject: ~Situational awareness~



You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.


What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?


I'll post answer in 5 minutes


Answers: Subject: ~Situational awareness~



You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.


What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?


I'll post answer in 5 minutes

Italian Tomato Garden
>
> An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament
Dear Vincent,
> I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.
> Love, Dad
>
> A few days later he received a letter from his son.
>
> Dear Dad,
> Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
> Love, Vinnie
>
> At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
>
> Dear Dad,
> Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
> Love you,
> Vinnie
> Ciao

two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"
The other old lady said, "It's a condom."
"A condom? Where do you get those?"
The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"
The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."


lol

swerve into the valley

My favorite joke:



Knock-knock!

Who's there?

Interrupting cow!

Interrupti---

MOO!

the question : why can capacitor pass ac current and not dc current...

the answer:

a capacitor is : ||
dc current is: ----------------
ac current is: /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
so capacitor blocks dc --------------||
while ac jumps over capacitor and passes
:))

not funny

my joke is this link below press it press it
http://nz.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...
click the link u know u cant resist it!

ok so there are 3 guys in the woods and theyy stunble onto the grounds of native indians
they capture them and take them to the chief
the chief says that he will kill them if they cant do a certain task
so they all decide to do the task
the chief tell them that they have to gointo the woods and collect 10 of the same fruits and bring them back
so the first guy comes back with apples
the chief tells him that he has to stick them up his but without showing any emotion or uttering a sound or anything
so when the first guy is working on the first apple
it hurts so much that he starts screaming in pain and they kill him
and he goes to heaven
the second guys comes with 10 grapes
the cheif tells him the same thing
right as the 2nd guy is about to finish sticking the 10th grape up his butt
he starts laughing
and they kill him
guy 1 and 2 meet up in heaven and talk about how they died
guy 1 says that he cried in pain and that they killed him
guy 2 says he laughed and then he got killed
guy 1 says why did you start laughing all of a sudden you could have lived and saved yourself
guy 2 said i couldnt help myself i saw the 3rd guy coming towards the tribe with 10 pinapples...............

idk my favorite but i like the one you posted

3 men die one night and go to heaven the first man meets up with jesus at the gates and jesus asks,''how many times have you cheated on ur wife?'' the man says 50 and jesus gives him an old rusty car.the 2 man comes in and jesus asks the same question and the man says 20 times so jesus gives him a car that is ''OK'' in appereance and then the 3 man comes in a nd jesus asks the previous question and the man says hes never cheated on his wife and god gives him a lamborginy(awesome car)!! and eventually the three men meet up in the road and the 3 man asks the 1 man howd you get that car and the man says ive never cheated on my wife but the bad news is that i saw my wife on the sidewalk with rollerkates!!

Brett Farve, after living a great life, dies and goes to heaven. God walkes him up to his house with a fading packers flag in the window. Brett looks up the road and sees a house decked out in cowboys gear. he turnes to god and says "no offense god, but i won a super bowl and won 3 MVPs. and Tony Romo's house is bigger than mine?" God turnes and says "thats not Tonys house, its mine"

"Mr.Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," The divorce Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "that"s very fair , your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.."

many to mention.



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