Tell me what you think of my poem and my story. It's a poem about the world.!


Question: 1. The carousel goes round and round,
And yet our hearts not turning,
Through all the rights, and all the wrongs,
The truth, it keeps on burning,
It’s sad to see so many dreams,
Get thrown away like garbage,
To see them drop and hear their screams.
To see so many fade away,
To see so many go,
Why all they seem to just lose grip,
Well that I’d like to know.

There once was a princess, with hair as golden as the sun. She had many suitors, who had completed many feats for her hand in marriage. Though she did not wish to get married, she enjoyed the attention. There was one brave man that stood out. He had short, brown hair that was as curly as a pig's tail, and was much more courageous than the rest. She secretly admired the young lad, as she thought he was quite handsome. One gorgeous day, he set out to her castle. Mean while, the princess was combing her sunkissed hair into braids and singing a quite marvelous song that rang out into the hearts of the villagers.

Answers: 1. The carousel goes round and round,
And yet our hearts not turning,
Through all the rights, and all the wrongs,
The truth, it keeps on burning,
It’s sad to see so many dreams,
Get thrown away like garbage,
To see them drop and hear their screams.
To see so many fade away,
To see so many go,
Why all they seem to just lose grip,
Well that I’d like to know.

There once was a princess, with hair as golden as the sun. She had many suitors, who had completed many feats for her hand in marriage. Though she did not wish to get married, she enjoyed the attention. There was one brave man that stood out. He had short, brown hair that was as curly as a pig's tail, and was much more courageous than the rest. She secretly admired the young lad, as she thought he was quite handsome. One gorgeous day, he set out to her castle. Mean while, the princess was combing her sunkissed hair into braids and singing a quite marvelous song that rang out into the hearts of the villagers.
BEAUTIFUL i love it you have some talent!!!! oh please please finisg the bottom one :P
:B DRRRRRRRDIDIDIDIDDOOOODOOOOT Report It

Other Answers (18)

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  • eelyl1l's Avatar by eelyl1l
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    • hmm i like it.
    the first one is good.
    i wish i could write like you.
    is there more? =)
    This is good but eat hot pockets!!
    (chinese voice)
    Its good
    i like the first one
    Hmmmm.... It's an ok poem...
    I don't really understand it but the words are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    It just me that I don't understand poetry that much. But Your poem is great and exciting and I wish i could write like you.
    If your trying to rhyme in the poem its inconsistent. Story felt incomplete. But both were good.
    I like both, they both make sense and I get your point.
    Something about the story at the bottom, though, makes me smile. Nice job :)
    The poem is nice. But the story seem not to have an ending. It's some what incomplete.
    I LOVE THEM :-)
    IS THERE MORE TO THE STORY??
    about the poem--- i got one problem. For it to be a peom, it is normally beautiful and the words flow. the word trash just doesnt go. and with the story, curly as a pigs tail? thats kinda, uh, lets just sy the princess has bad taste! it shouls be, curly as something for appetizing.
    yes yes yes!!!! i love this poem.it's so good you should send it to a publishing company.......LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it.it has a very good point to it
    cool
    those pieces of writing is the one of the most marvolous things that have entered my mind, you have true potetial, and more then that a true talent, I myself am a eleged writer, someday hoping to be published,I have been wondering alotabout my writing throught the eyes of others, I think I might post it for cmments like you did,still I think you have a fabulous use of words.keep it up.
    The story isn't finished...but I'm not a fan of fiction, what's the point. And for the poem, it's good I guess, I don't know much about poems. But I have problems rhyming and you did a good job. Tell me what you think of mine.

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
    your poem was great, but the story needs more work. it could be more interesting if you made it longer and added another element, like a dragon.
    I think it is beautiful.
    Beautiful writing! But the names of the places seem....just odd?

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