Joke comption 2?!
Question: tell me your best jokes and i will say the winner!
thx so much
Answers: tell me your best jokes and i will say the winner!
thx so much
A woman three months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later, she awakes and asks the nearest doctor about the fate of her baby.
"You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine," says the doctor. "Luckily, your brother named them for you."
"Oh crud, not by brother! He's an idiot! What did he call the girl?"
"Denise," the doctor replies.
Thinking that isn't so bad, she asks, "And what did he call the boy?"
The doctor answers, "Denephew."
2.There was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who wanted to prove which one was the best to her.
Son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her.
Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included, thinking this would surely win her approval.
Son #3 had to do something even better, so he bought her a parrot that he had been training for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could ask the parrot any verse in the Bible, and he could quote it word for word. What a gift that would be.
Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "Son, the house is just gorgeous, but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it's too large to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway."
Then she confronted her second son with, "Son, the car is beautiful. It has everything you could ever want on it, but I don't drive and really don't like the chauffeur, so please return the car."
Next, she went to Son #3 and said, "Son, I just want to thank you for your most thoughtful gift. That chicken was delicious."
a bar has a sign that says "this bar will reward $1000 to the person who can make this donkey laugh." so there are many people trying to make the donkey laugh but no one can do it. so one day, this man walks into the bar and says "give me a shot of your hardest liquor." he chugs it and now hes a little bit tipsy. so he sees the sign and says "i can make that donkey laugh." so he goes up to the donkey and whispers something in the donkeys ear and the donkey just starts laughing its *** off and just cant stop! the man walks up to the barkeep and says "wheres my $1000?" so the barkeep hands over $1000.
the next week, the same bar has a sign that says "this bar will reward $2000 to the person who can make this donkey cry." so there are many people trying but no one can make the donkey cry. so the same guy goes to that bar again and asks for a shot of their hardest liquor and so again, hes a little bit drunk. so he sees the sign and says "i can make that donkey cry." so he goes up to the donkey and pulls down his pants and the donkey just starts crying and just can't stop! so the man goes up to the barkeep and asks for the $2000. the barkeep hands it over and says "how did you make that donkey laugh and cry?" so the man says "the first time, i told it that i had a bigger dick and the second time, i showed it to him."
7. "Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
Dear girl
I will tell you later.Now its 10.19PM o clock.
Q: Why was the tomato blushing?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing!!
haha :]
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss
program.
The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a
voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of
Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, ‘If you can catch me, you can have me.’
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later
huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the
next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs
himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next
day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning,
beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing
nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads,
‘If you catch me you can have me. Well, he’s out the door after her
like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but
no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with
him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he
discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go
for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program
‘Are you sure?’ asks the representative on the phone. ‘This is our most
rigorous program.’
‘Absolutely,’ he replies, ‘I haven’t felt this good in years. The next
day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge
muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a
sign around his neck that reads, ‘If I catch you, your *** is mine.’
He lost 63 pounds that week