What's the funniest joke you can think of?!
Question: I wanna laugh today it's been a boring day 4 me
Answers: I wanna laugh today it's been a boring day 4 me
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that, after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.
I ABOUT DIED LAUGHING FROM THIS ONE
your momas so fat that when she went to kfc, the counter worker asked what size bucket chicken do you want. and she said "the one on the roof" hahaha its kinda funny, but kinda cheesy/corny
This is racist so please don't be offended.
A black man and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving?
Scroll down for answer ↓
The cop!
you guys need to lighten up. :(
Why is the man's head shaped like a cube?
Because he's a blockhead!
Two drunks are sittin' at the bar.
One says, "I drink to forget."
The other says, "Me too, why do you?"
there are two muffins in the oven. One leans over sayd holy crap it's hot in here. The other says HOLY CRAP a talking muffin!
An octopus walks into a bar and says
"I can play any musical instrument in the world"
An Irish man gives him a guitar and the octopus plays it better thn Hendrix.
An Englishman sits him infront of a piano and he plays it better than Rachmaninoff.
A Scotsman gives him some bagpipes.
After about 10 mins the octopus is still fumbling with it.
The Scotsmsan says
"whats wrong - can ye no play it?
"Play it" the octopus replies " Im gonna f*ck her brains out when I can figure out how to get her pajams off"
this is a stupid one but, There was three Chinese men who were visiting America for the first time and they knew no English. One walked into a silverware shop and heard "forks and knives forks and knives"One walked into a candy shop and heard"Goody Goody Gumdrops!'the last one walked into an office and heard "We did it!' All of the Chinese men met up with each other at the park and by the bench was a dead guy. Immediately a cop car pulled up and a man started to question them.Who did this?" The last Chinese man answered "We did it!" How? Asked the cop. One of them proudly answered "Forks and knives Forks and Knives!" The cop scolded and screamed "your going to jail!!" Then the one who went into the candy shop happily answered"Goody Goody Gumdrops!!"
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm,
his mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little p*ssed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.
He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.
He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says,
"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"
Hickory dickory dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And the rest escaped with minor injuries
I suppose you will be using this a lot tomorow.
A wife goes to the doctor and says, "Every time my husband and I are in bed and my husband climaxes he lets out an ear-splitting yell."
"My dear," says the doctor. "That's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is He keeps waking me up!"