Something to cheer me up?!?!


Question: I accidently kicked a marble fireplace and have broken my toe, sore!

Cheer me up, please!? Any good jokes??


Answers: I accidently kicked a marble fireplace and have broken my toe, sore!

Cheer me up, please!? Any good jokes??

Good thing I brought my library card cause I'm checkin' you out!
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
What's Pink and fluffy? Pink fluff - What blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding it's breath!
What do you call a little vampire? A pain in the knee!

A good/bad pun.

Ghandi was a man of spiritual influence who walked bare foot everywhere thus making his feet full of callouses. He ate vegetables when he did eat so his breath was a bit bad. Due to his hunger strike(s) he was also physically frail. So how could one best describe him with a single phrase?

He was a super caloused fragile mystic vexed with halitosis.

at least you didnt snap your toe off. my friend snapped his off doing karate last year, and was on crutches for AGES

A man was on a bus. He sees a nun, and he really wants to have sex with a nun. So he asks the nun, "Do you want to have sex with me?" The nun shakes her head and says, "I only follow the instructions of God." The nun gets off at the next stop. The bus driver motions for the man to come near him. The bus driver asks, "I hear you want to have sex with a nun?" The man nods his head. "Well, at midnight today, go to the cemetery and you will see a nun there. Say, "I am God! I command you to have sex with me!" and the nun will have sex with you." The man decides to follow the bus driver's instructions. At midnight that same day, he goes to the cemetery and spots a nun. He approaches the nun that he saw on the bus and says, "I am God! I command you to have sex with me!" The nun agrees and the two have sex. After that, the man says, "I'm just kidding. I'm not God. I'm the guy from the bus!" The nun says, "I'm just kidding, too! I'm not a nun! I'm the bus driver!"

ha ha! LoL
Cheered me up!

I went for a job as Blacksmith the other day they said have you ever shoed a horse? I said no but ive told a donkey to **** off

Three guys go out fishing. They're out there for a bit, talking and getting ready, when one guy says, "Dang it, I left my pole back on shore!" So he jumps over the side of the boat and walks across the water to get it and walks back to the boat.

A few minutes later, another guy says, "Dang it, I left my extra reel on shore!" So he jumps over the side of the boat and walks across the water to get it and walks back to the boat.

The third guy, very impressed and wanting to prove himself, says, "Dang it, I left my smokes on shore!" So he jumps over the side of the boat and sinks to the bottom. After he gets back into the boat, he waits a few minutes before trying again. He sinks to the bottom.

While his buddies are waiting for him to come back up, the second guy looks at the first and says, "Hey, Jesus, should we tell him where the rocks are?"



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