What are some really good jokes?!
Question: There was this really good gambler. When taxes came, the tax collecter didn't believe that he was as good as he said. So, they had a meeting. The gambler and his lawyer went into the tax collecter's office. The tax collecter said, "I don't believe you are that great of a gambler." The gambler said, "Oh yeah? Well I bet you $1000 that I can bite my eye." The tax collecter, knowing this was impossible, agreed. The gambler took out his GLASS eye and bit it. "Duh." The tax collecter thought. The gambler said, "Okay. Well, I bet you $2000 that I can bit my other eye." The tax collecter, knowing the gambler wasn't blind, once again, agreed. The gambler took out his denters and made them "bite" his eye. The tax collecter was starting to feel really depressed and upset. The gambler said, "Okay. Well, I bet you $3000 I can stand on your desk and pee into your trash can." The tax collecter knew this was impossible so he agreed again. The gambler stood on the desk and attempted to pee into the trash can. He missed and peed all over the desk. The tax collecter, excited that he had won all of his money back, jumped up and down excited. The lawyer who had been quiet the whole time, suddenly looked upset. "What's your problem? You've been quiet this whole time and now your upset?" The lawyer said, "He bet me $5000 that he could pee all over your desk and you'd be excited about it."
Answers: There was this really good gambler. When taxes came, the tax collecter didn't believe that he was as good as he said. So, they had a meeting. The gambler and his lawyer went into the tax collecter's office. The tax collecter said, "I don't believe you are that great of a gambler." The gambler said, "Oh yeah? Well I bet you $1000 that I can bite my eye." The tax collecter, knowing this was impossible, agreed. The gambler took out his GLASS eye and bit it. "Duh." The tax collecter thought. The gambler said, "Okay. Well, I bet you $2000 that I can bit my other eye." The tax collecter, knowing the gambler wasn't blind, once again, agreed. The gambler took out his denters and made them "bite" his eye. The tax collecter was starting to feel really depressed and upset. The gambler said, "Okay. Well, I bet you $3000 I can stand on your desk and pee into your trash can." The tax collecter knew this was impossible so he agreed again. The gambler stood on the desk and attempted to pee into the trash can. He missed and peed all over the desk. The tax collecter, excited that he had won all of his money back, jumped up and down excited. The lawyer who had been quiet the whole time, suddenly looked upset. "What's your problem? You've been quiet this whole time and now your upset?" The lawyer said, "He bet me $5000 that he could pee all over your desk and you'd be excited about it."
the presidential candidates!!!! Ha, Ha
Patriots rule! do you get the joke?
i don't know???
Here are TWO:
Hillary Clinton goes to the doctor for a full check-up. After a complete examination and many tests, the doctor tells her:
Hillary, you have a common condition referred to as Obamitis. The medical term for your condition is ELECTILE disfunction.
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"Another Clinton in the White House would be hard to swallow". --Monica Lewinsky
what did the fish say when he ran into a wall? DAM!
what did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead I'll give these two a lift!
two peanuts walked into an alley...one got assaulted! [a salted]
Vampire jokes perhaps- if you like humor in a jocular vein. Unfortunately the ones I got at the blood drive are a bit risque- Under 13 should not read further. Count Dracula goes into a bar, bartender recognizes what he is but will take anybodies money so asks what he wants. Drac replies : I'll have a Bloody Mary.( this is the straight line) Bartender says OK, steps into back room , returns and sets a spread leg menstruating nun on the bar in front of Drac. (Bloody awful wasn't it?) this joke is suitable in short form for the kiddies, full form good for teenagers. And it should be mild enough not to get a violation notice.