Anyone got any really funny Irish jokes?!
Question: an irishman, an englishman and a scotsman all get lost in the amazon. they get captured by a tribe of amazon women who say i want you all to go and get 10 same type fruits i.e. ten apples or cherries etc.
the scotsman comes back first and he has 10 apples. the amazon women tell him he has to shove them up his a** without making a sound. he tries but starts crying at the 3rd one so they kill him.
then the englishman comes back with cherries and he has to do the same. he gets to the 9th one but starts laffin so they kill him.
the scot and the brit meet in heaven and the scot says "why did you laugh you could have survived?"
the brit grins and says "i know but i saw paddy coming back with ten pumpkins"
lol, a bit long winded but it makes me laff
Answers: an irishman, an englishman and a scotsman all get lost in the amazon. they get captured by a tribe of amazon women who say i want you all to go and get 10 same type fruits i.e. ten apples or cherries etc.
the scotsman comes back first and he has 10 apples. the amazon women tell him he has to shove them up his a** without making a sound. he tries but starts crying at the 3rd one so they kill him.
then the englishman comes back with cherries and he has to do the same. he gets to the 9th one but starts laffin so they kill him.
the scot and the brit meet in heaven and the scot says "why did you laugh you could have survived?"
the brit grins and says "i know but i saw paddy coming back with ten pumpkins"
lol, a bit long winded but it makes me laff
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, can I have $5 for a guinea pig?"
The dad replies, "Here's $10 son, go get yourself a nice Irish girl."
A Brit a Scottsman and an Irishman are sitting at a bar and all three have a pint of beer in front of them. It just so happens that each pint had a fly land in them. The Brit pushed his away and told the bartender to get him another. The Scottsman picked the fly out and continued drinking while the Irish man grabbed the fly by the wings shaking the fly over his pint yelling "spit it out, spit it out!"
An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. My son was born on St George's Day," commented the English man. "So we obviously decided to call him George" "That's a real coincidence," remarked the Scot. "My son was born on St Andrew's Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew."
"That's incredible, what a coincidence, "said the Irishman. "Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."
How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room spins around.
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these."
whats black and blue and floats in the irish sea
answer
an english man who keeps telling paddy jokes