Know any good racist jokes?!
Question: Can be about any race
Answers: Can be about any race
yep, there are NO good racist jokes but here goes:
a black man having to urinate real bad finally gets to the urinal. A white man standing nearby sees the black man pull out a 10 incher and hears the black man say "Whew! I just made it!" white man shares "can you make me one?"
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
~~~~A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
nop
There aren't any GOOD racist jokes
However I will offer you this to ponder upon:
A black man walk in a cafe early in the morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born, I was black,"
"When I grew up, I was black,"
"When I'm sick, I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun, I'm black,"
"When I'm cold, I'm black"
"When I die, I'll be black."
"But you sir....."
"When you're born, you're pink,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun, you turn red,"
"When you're cold, you turn blue,"
"And when you die, you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me coloured"
Yeah there are no good racist jokes.
but anyway...
"I'm not racist, I own a color TV"
it's kinda dumb, but i heard it in homeroom my freshman year
Not too offensive and an old one...
Why were there so many black casualties in Vietnam?
Cause everytime the Sargeant shouted 'Get down!' all the black soldiers started dancing.
A man in a police cell is about to be interviewed by the arresting officer' Well, Charlie now that you've sobered up, tell me what happened!' Charlie replies' I came out the pub having just drank a half shandy, I slowly drive out the car-park headlights on dip, I take a short cut home down the country lane, I see two Jamaican gentlemen walking ahead, before I could react I had already hit them, one came through the windscreen and the other over the bonnet and roof of the car! The officer turns off the tape and angrily says to Charlie 'I want you to tell me the truth, I was'nt born yesterday you know! Charlie says 'Iv'e had a couple of pints, I climb into the car, I leave the carpark,headlights on dip, Take the short cut home down the lane,I'm doing 30mph, I see these two coloured guys and before I knew it, I'd hit them, one came through the windscreen and the other over the bonnet and over the roof! The officer goes ballistic,'You tell me what happened or Ill throw the book at you!' Charlie takes a deep breathe then says defiantly 'Okay Okay! Ive drank nearly all day, knocked back a few chasers too! I've left the carpark in a hurry to get home so I'm gunning the engine, headlights on full, Take the short cut home down the lane, 70mph!, I see these two black blokes and decide Il have a bit of fun, but before I knew what was happening I had hit them. 'One came through the windscreen and the other over the bonnet and roof of my car! Okay! The officer says in a controlled voice 'Thank you Charlie, We'll charge one for breaking and entering and we'll charge the other for leaving the scene of an accident!'