Yes, more blonde jokes!!?!
Question: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a hand grenade in her mouth!
How do you keep a blonde busy?
You give her a bottle of shampoo that says: "Lather, rinse, and repeat."
How do you keep a blonde busy?
You put her in a round room and tell her to go sit in the corner."
Why do blondes always have such big hair?
So they can catch things that are over their heads.
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $100 bill. Who picks it up?
The dumb blonde! Because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
The vegetable garden.
Answers: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a hand grenade in her mouth!
How do you keep a blonde busy?
You give her a bottle of shampoo that says: "Lather, rinse, and repeat."
How do you keep a blonde busy?
You put her in a round room and tell her to go sit in the corner."
Why do blondes always have such big hair?
So they can catch things that are over their heads.
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $100 bill. Who picks it up?
The dumb blonde! Because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
The vegetable garden.
Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!
--------------------------------------...
The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
--------------------------------------...
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"
--------------------------------------...
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".
--------------------------------------...
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
--------------------------------------...
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,
"I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
--------------------------------------...
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
--------------------------------------...
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
--------------------------------------...
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
--------------------------------------...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Here's one for your collection!
A blonde driving to work in the morning had some car troubles, so sputtering and stalling, she drove it to a nearby service station for help. The mechanic popped the hood, peered at the engine, then suggested she come back in an hour to check on the progress.
She returned later to find her car parked out front. She found the mechanic busy at work, legs sticking out from under another vehicle. Uncertain about what to do, she asks, "What about my car?" The greasemonkey says, "Just crap in the carburator, Ma'am."
The blonde still seemed confused. "Only once in the morning, or every time I start it?"
omfg!!!lol lmao!!rofl!!star 4 you!!hahahahaahahahaha omg made my day better!
funny
LOL. Thank you.
A brunette is driving on a road on a cliff. Suddenly, the driver loses control. Everyone miraculously jumps out of the car and holds onto one lone branch protruding from the cliff as the car tumbles into the sea below. The branch starts to break and one person must sacrifice herself so that the branch won't snap off. The brunette says to her friends: "You have always been my bestest friends and I shall sacrifice my life for yours.". Then the blondes start to clap and say "What a wonderful speech".
If you dont get it, they are all hanging on the branch. So if the blondes clap, then they must let go of the branch first then SPLASH!
blonds are not dum
hi man you must be having few blond girl friends.Thank you.
lmao i love the 7th one.
lol good ones :) !!!
hahahaha!!!
very funny
thanks for sharing.
hahahahaha
omg i love them!! haha thx!