Hahahha a very very very funny(slightly dirty) christmas rhyme...i mean its real!


Question: Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat

The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook

It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my bon*er and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his asss, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.


Answers: Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat

The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook

It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my bon*er and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his asss, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

That was great i love it lol

Haha wow. that was inappropriate...but I must admit that was funny.

lol, that was funny

quite long!!! but seriously funny!

lol. *4u

and here..i thought you were a kid!!

you are a very naughty boy.....come to mama!!

starred!!

Seems everyone has their own version. thanks for yours. Here's mine in return:

“‘Twas The Night Before Christmas”

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house;
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse.
Ma home from the cat house, Pa home from jail;
Settled down for the night to get a nice piece of tail.
Grandma and grandpa were singing a song,
The kid in the next room was a flogging his dong;
Sis blowing her boyfriend, big brother getting smashed,
And I was about ready to get a sweet piece of ***.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter,
I sprang from my b!tch to see what was the matter;
Away to the window I dashed like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and fell on my ***.
And what to my surprised eyes should appear,
But a rusty ole sleigh and eight tiny reindeer;
With a little fat driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was that bastard Saint Nick.
Just about the time me and my girl go to get a little bit,
Here he comes around with that ‘ho ho’ sh!t;
The moon on the crest of a new fallen snow,
Gave a whorehouse-like luster to objects below.
Slower than snail sh!t his charges they came,
He bitched and he swore as he called them all names;
Dash you bastards over the walls,
Quick god damn it, I’ll cut off your balls.
Up on the roof top he stumbled and fell,
Came down the chimney like a bat out of hell;
Landed on the floor on his big fat ***,
Next to my sister who was smoking some grass.
She offered the clumsy mother-f*cker a hit,
He took a drag then reached for her tit;
She said back off jackoff I may think you’re cute,
I ain’t no fool I’m cool to the rise in your red flannel suit.
He staggered and stumbled as he went to the door,
He tripped on his c*ck and fell on the floor;
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick for my uncle the queer.
Then he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
That son of a b!tch blew the chimney apart;
He made it to the roof top and what did he hear,
Rudolph said it’s about f*cking time, it’s freezing *** cold up here.
In his sleigh he cursed and he swore as they flew out of sight;
He yelled "piss on your balls, it’s a hell of a night."

funny

could be asked 2 read it all but i want my two points

*dee*dum*dee*dum*dee*dum

lmao!!

hahahahahahahahahahah

haha thats pretty good.



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