Fab joke, please star if you get a giggle folks, (Bit long but really good)?!
Question: One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike "my elbow hurts like hell.
I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies,
"There's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong,
and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better
than a doctor and you get Club card points".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was.
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the mixture for
good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.
He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer printed the following:
1) your tap water is too hard. Get a water softner.
2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet
3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe it with anti-fungal shampoo.
4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
5) Your wife is pregnant with twins; they aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
Never get better........
Thank you for shopping at Tesco
Answers: One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike "my elbow hurts like hell.
I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies,
"There's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong,
and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better
than a doctor and you get Club card points".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was.
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the mixture for
good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.
He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer printed the following:
1) your tap water is too hard. Get a water softner.
2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet
3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe it with anti-fungal shampoo.
4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
5) Your wife is pregnant with twins; they aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
Never get better........
Thank you for shopping at Tesco
hahahahaha very good mate,hey you don't half tell em ,excellent keep em coming,you've got me hooked
lol.lol
it was a riot
Ha ha ha.!!!
Now that is Brilliant joke.!!!
10/10.!!!
Thanks for a laugh.!!!
Cheers.!!
lmfao, long but well worth reading have a star =)
Lol. Nice joke. That piece of technology would be so amazing if that was real. XD
LOL!
Well worth the read mate, well funny.
I love this joke... I've heard it before and it always makes me laugh... I wish this machine was real!!! LOL
That was good. ha, ha.
LOL i've seen it b4, i 4get where tho............ PLS TELL ME WHERE U GOT IT!
That was great. Have a star...
pmsflol...very funny.*
hhahahaha....
great joke....
=D
lol
hahahaha excellent
LOL.
lol
Brilliant thanks yes worth a star. I enjoyed it.
STAR
Hilarious!!
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh