What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?!
Question: clean or dirty doesnt matter... just funny
Answers: clean or dirty doesnt matter... just funny
A doctor gave an 85 year old man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained,
"Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with th e teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
(what were you thinking)
-Lucky D
1. Your Momma SO Poor, when she said she was moving, i asked her where too.. she picked up her garbage can and moved it to the curb!!
2. Yo mom so fat, when GOD said let there be light, she moved her butt.
3. Yo mom so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle she was hit by a train.
4.Your mom is so fat when you go to the restaurant, just when your on seconds, shes on 23rds..
5. Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the movies, she takes up 7 rows.
6.Your mom is so fat, when she saw a school bus, she ran after it saying 'STOP THAT TWINKIE!!'.
7.Your mom so dumb she stole free jello
8.Your mom is so stupid, she climbed over a wall just see the other side.
9.Your mom so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall just to see the other side.
10.Your mom like a doorknob, everybody gets a turn.
11.Your mom is so fat, she has to use a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views!
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite
pictures
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her
through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so old I told her to act her age and she died.
Yo mama so old she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama so stupid she gets lost in thought.
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid she got stuck on the escalator for 3 hours,
Yo mama so stupid she has to ask for a price check at the dollar store.
Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks cheerios are doughnut seeds
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the ocean all the whales started singing "We are family!"
Yo mama so stupid she wondered what a 'printer' did.
your mamma is so dumb that she sat on the tv to watch the couch!
yo mamma is so dumb she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order
yo mamma is so fat that when she goes to school she sits beside everybody
yo mamma is so poor she has only got two channels on her t.v 'on and off'
yo mamma has had more 1up's than super mario
yo mamma's like the city's bike every-body has had a ride!!.
ok im catholic so this is ok for me to write
what does a priest and acne have in common?
they both come on a boys face when he turns 13
please dont report me lol
she said dirty is fine
Which comes first...the chicken or the egg?
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says...."Well I guess we finally answered THAT question!
So this baby seal walks into a club...