WHATS YouR BEST JoKE?!


Question: Tell me the best joke you have ever heard


Answers: Tell me the best joke you have ever heard

SEX AFTER DEATH

A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.

Their biggest fear was that there was no after life.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.True to his word, he made the first contact, "Judy ..Judy...

"Is that you, Steve?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm
sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it
starts all over again."

"Oh, Steve you surely must be in Heaven!"

"Not exactly ... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona."

popes in a volkwagon

So you think you're computer-illiterate?
Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by
Jim Carlton --
Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key
is. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard
to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that
the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes.
After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the
problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then
rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back
in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold
on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the
room to close the door to his room.
Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to
fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell
tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of
friends,"the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store,
the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of
geeks."
Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and
water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
and washing them individually.
A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken personally.
An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged
in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and
nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's
mouse.
Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in,
and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When
asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What
power switch?"

This is the best one so far:

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign reading, “BEST DEALS.”

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign reading, “LOWEST PRICES.”

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read: “MAIN ENTRANCE.”

whos hit more balls hten barry bonds





ur moms chin

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck."

So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe."

So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."

So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"

my best joke is all the people that have tried to tell you their best joke.

you may have heard it b4

what position do u get a woman into to make an ugly baby?







i don't know ask your mum



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