Joke: Long one but funny!!?!
Question: The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....
Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog and was getting ready to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting that Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, I said, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food was nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
Answers: The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....
Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog and was getting ready to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting that Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, I said, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food was nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
OMG!!!!
You have just done what I have always wanted to do my entire life. All the time I hear people asking dumb questions, but i can never come up with anything to say back to them as funny as what you did.
Thanks for giving me some great ideas.
I luv it so funny!!!
ROF, LMGDAO
Wow nice one!
lol funny
Oh WOW!!! This is really funny.....I would have never thought of saying this....and you managed to keep a straight face when you said this? This made me laugh....and for that I give you a *(star). I love people with a great sense of humor. *Hi 5*
this is brilliant and i would love to be in a line to see peoples faces when you tell it ,best one I have heard in a very long time
it turned out this lady got banned from that wal-mart
^i got this one in a e-mail
Funny! lol! 100!
Lol!
I LOVE THIS JOKE
Nice one!
hahaha that is the best story i have ever heard... i dont think id ever be able to pull something off that good
BRAVO! Sir.....you are a hero to many of us.
lolololololololl i heard one like that here it is-
A woman always fixed her husband a gorgeous beef dinner every nigt, well one night she was running late so she decided just to get a small jar of beef cat food, she figured it wouldnt hurt him and hey, it was quick to make, well he got home took one bite and said, "I love it! This is the best beef ever!" well, she fed it to him every night, well one night they were rushed to she emergancy room, her friends met her there and one said, "see? i knew it! feeding him cat food was a bad idea! now look what you've done! you've killed him!" and the lady calmly replied "oh i didn't kill him, he fell off the mantle while he was licking himself"
lololol
Long but well worth the read.
Very funny!
:)