Any short funny jokes please?!
Question: Jogging with Bill Clinton...
Bill Clinton started jogging near his new home in Chappaqua. But on each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day.
With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would cry out from the curb.
"No, Five dollars!" fired back Clinton ..
This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" And he'd yell back, "Five dollars!"
One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog! As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.
He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the junior Senator. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual.
Sure enough, there was the hooker! Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.
Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled...
"See what you get for five bucks!?"
Answers: Jogging with Bill Clinton...
Bill Clinton started jogging near his new home in Chappaqua. But on each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day.
With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would cry out from the curb.
"No, Five dollars!" fired back Clinton ..
This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" And he'd yell back, "Five dollars!"
One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog! As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.
He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the junior Senator. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual.
Sure enough, there was the hooker! Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.
Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled...
"See what you get for five bucks!?"
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
DUNG!
Once upon a time there were two Chinese.
Now look how many.
There were two muffins in an oven.
One goes "AHH WE'RE IN AN OVEN!"
And the other one goes "Holy crap a talking muffin!"
Here's a short one.
A duck walks into a drugstore, goes up to the counter, and says,
"I need some Chapstick. Put it on my bill."
Why are ETs eyes so big??????
because he looked at his phone bill!!!!!!
Get it ET phone home!!!
Yeah Iknow ts dumb but i love it!!!!
a-you & b-someone else
1.) a-do you work at a cash register?
b- no
a- then why you checking me out
2.) what does a gay horse say?
HAYYYYYYYYY!
What did one casket say to the other casket?
What do you call a blond on a float in the Gulf of Mexico?
Off-shore drilling rig.
A Health Teacher is going over sex education with his male class asks the question sexual activity,"Who has sex once a week" All of the Cool guys raise their hand and look around.
"Ok once a month" most of the class raise their hand."All right once a year" one lonely fella starts jumping up and down raising his hand. You seem pretty enthusiastic for someone who has sex once a year". Yea the guy says but tonight is the night!!!!!
An older woman goes into a pharmacy and asks which of the new pads work best. the pharmacist asks what is your flow like? Woman says linoleum.
Last is a Buddy Hackett classic
once there was a blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a field...
another blonde drives by and says
"see your the one who gives blondes a bad name, and if i could swim i would come out there and kick your butt"
haha =]
also go to
www. jokes2go .com
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American."
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.
"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."
hi
this is my favorite joke
there is a new psychology teacher she is teaching her class for the first time She starts her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up."
After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am," he says, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
much luv
Chloe
xxxxx
This man comes home to find his girlfriend on her way out the front door locking up and he says,
"I hear you're leaving me, but why ? What's wrong ?"
The girl says to her boyfriend, "I'm leaving you because I found out you're a pedophile !"
"A pedophile !" [scoffs] "Heh. Well now !
That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old !"
What do you call a chinese person with no balls?
What do you call a chicken coop with four doors?
A chicken sedan!
DIRECTOR TO HEROIN:Madam,in this shot you have to afraid hero.
HEROIN:Sir,then can i take my make-up!
If a busty lady works at Hooters. where would a one legged lady work ? (I-HOP) what is her name ? (EILEEN)
a man and a woman in a bar...
man: miss, can i have this dance?
woman: no thanks.
man: don't thank me, thank God somebody asks you!
:)
how do you make a door laugh? tickle its knob
there was a dog called May she was always picking on animals stronger and bigger than herself. one day she decided to call a lion a fat lump. the next day was the 1st of june cos that was the end of may. ...... this jokes not really that funny but i think its quite clever
which eight letters are found in the water?
H to O
what do you call a moody apple pie?
an apple grumble!
like it?
A man walked into a bar....
He said 'ouch'.
get it?
A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North ...
A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.
"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"
"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.
The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?"
"It was ME," chortled the Indian.
So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.
Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies.
"Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough," said Sven.
"Ok," the Norwegian said, "my father and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?"
"Search me," said Sven. "I give up, who vas it?"
The Norwegian burst out, "It vas some Indian up in Fargo, North Dakota!"
what did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
dam
Sorry, jokes are not funny, funny are.