Any One Have Any Jokes For Me Dirty Mostlikely If Not Any?!


Question: right here

okay, a guy's on a business trip. He drives for hours and hours and finally gets to his hotel. He checks in to his 10th floor room, hauls his luggage up and decides to step outside for a smoke. So he goes back down to the lobby and steps outside.

Outside he realizes he forgot his damn lighter. But never fear, there's another smoker so he says to the guy, "hey, do you have a lighter or matches? I fogot mine in my room!" The man pulls out a lighter and it's half as long as his arm!

"OMG, that is a huge lighter. Where did you get this?" says the businessman.

"Well there's a genie right down the street that grants one wish. if you turn into that first alley you can't miss him" replies the man.

So the businessman's walking down the street, turns into the alley, and sure enough he sees the lamp. He picks it up, rubs it a little bit, and POOF...the genie comes out and says he will grant him one wish!

So the businessman thinks for a second and says, "allright, I want a million bucks!!!"

POOF! The genie disappears and the man is suddenly surrounded by nothing but ducks. Feathers are flying everywhere and they're surrounding him QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!!

"FU<K!" screams the businessman as he storms back towards the hotel with a line of Ducks in pursuit.

So he gets back to where the smoker is and the smoker says, "so did you find the genie? Did he grant your wish?"

"I found him allright" replied the businessman, "but the mother fu<ker messed it up! I asked for a million BUCKS and he gave me a million DUCKS!"

to which the man replies...
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"You don't really think I asked for a foot long bic did you?"


Answers: right here

okay, a guy's on a business trip. He drives for hours and hours and finally gets to his hotel. He checks in to his 10th floor room, hauls his luggage up and decides to step outside for a smoke. So he goes back down to the lobby and steps outside.

Outside he realizes he forgot his damn lighter. But never fear, there's another smoker so he says to the guy, "hey, do you have a lighter or matches? I fogot mine in my room!" The man pulls out a lighter and it's half as long as his arm!

"OMG, that is a huge lighter. Where did you get this?" says the businessman.

"Well there's a genie right down the street that grants one wish. if you turn into that first alley you can't miss him" replies the man.

So the businessman's walking down the street, turns into the alley, and sure enough he sees the lamp. He picks it up, rubs it a little bit, and POOF...the genie comes out and says he will grant him one wish!

So the businessman thinks for a second and says, "allright, I want a million bucks!!!"

POOF! The genie disappears and the man is suddenly surrounded by nothing but ducks. Feathers are flying everywhere and they're surrounding him QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!!

"FU<K!" screams the businessman as he storms back towards the hotel with a line of Ducks in pursuit.

So he gets back to where the smoker is and the smoker says, "so did you find the genie? Did he grant your wish?"

"I found him allright" replied the businessman, "but the mother fu<ker messed it up! I asked for a million BUCKS and he gave me a million DUCKS!"

to which the man replies...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"You don't really think I asked for a foot long bic did you?"

three ducks go to court
the judge ask the first duck what he was doing last night
and the first duck says blowing bubbles
the judge says alright
and then ask the second duck the same question
and he replies blowing bubbles
the judge says okay then
and says to the third duck let me guess u were blowing bubbles too?
and the third duck says no i am bubbles

Try this one:

An old lady was stopped by a rookie police officer for speeding.

The young officer approached her car and asked to see her drivers license. The woman said she did not have one and that it was taken away over a year ago for a DUI.

The stunded officer asked to see her registration papers but she replied she did not have any because she had just car-jacked the auto.

The officer asked were was the owner and the lady said, "Dead and in the trunk in a plastic bag!"

This caused the officer to back off and call his field sargent.

When the Field Sargent arrived they both approached the vehicle with hands on side-arms. The Field Sargent told the lady to exit the car with her hands in sight and open the trunk.

She did this and when it reveals nothing but a spare tire and some tools the Field Sargent asked her for her drivers license.

She opened her purse and gave this to him. He then asked to see her registration papers which she also gave to him.

Somewhat perplexed the Field Sargent asked her about what the young officer had told him about the DUI. Her reply was, "Well I guess he lied and told you I was speeding as well."



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