Have you "complained" lately ???!
Question: Bizarre complaints
These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and Housing associations throughout the UK:
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1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
3. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.
5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?
7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of them are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.
8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6:00am his **** wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.
15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction.
17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.
18. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.
Answers: Bizarre complaints
These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and Housing associations throughout the UK:
--------------------------------------...
1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
3. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.
5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?
7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of them are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.
8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6:00am his **** wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.
15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction.
17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.
18. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.
These are hilarious. Thanks fro the laughs.
A man wrote this to the highway department: I am requesting that you move the deer crossing sign on our road because a lot of deer are being hit there
lol! thats funny! i havent dont too much of it today!
ROFLMAO
*wiping tears from eyes*
Good ones Clo!
Peace.
Those are so funny! I love #17! That's hilarious! Where did you find these?
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! OOOOhhhh! My! Gosh! That is Absolutely Freakin’ Brilliant! Star for you!!!
BRAVO!!!!
Like it so much!!!!
too early LOL too early,4+10 made my boys laugh so hard,they woke others up!!excellent way to start my day!! Happy Aussie Day from the girl from down under :)
hi i love It thanks u made my day hugs
lol
I never complain and I never lie.
haha!!the things people complain about!!thanks for the laugh!!
That is funny Clo. I have some similar to these and I will try to locate them. It is amazing how people state things and the way they are interpreted. I love the double meaning phrases like "If I told said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
>> lol. These are sooooo funny......roflmao ~ totally.
The UK councils & housing must be in absolute fits of laughter most of the time........
I wonder what written reply they send out?
Or how they keep a straight face if the writer of the letter shows up at the offices in person?
Ciao!
usually i complain