Can u plzz give me a good joke? 10 points for the best one?!


Question: I have to give lemonade 10 points for her answer to my question but i can't seen to do it on the other question So plzz answer this question lemonade


Answers: I have to give lemonade 10 points for her answer to my question but i can't seen to do it on the other question So plzz answer this question lemonade

SARDAR IS BACK
The Best way to Escape from a Problem is to Solve it"

Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go. ________________________________________...

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.


A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

______________________________________...

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....



A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

______________________________________...

Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..


A Teacher lecturing on population:

"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
______________________________________...

A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"

Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.



Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
______________________________________...
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.



Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?

Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!! ________________________________________...
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".



Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"
______________________________________...

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What R U doing...?"
Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar"


Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"
______________________________________...
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"



A sardar was drawing money from ATM,

The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
______________________________________...

Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!


Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
______________________________________...

Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Cow! it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Cow!... A talking muffin!"

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.

Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice

Mental Hospital

Ron and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ron suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ron out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ron, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.

I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?'

i want lemonade all of a sudden

A Jewish guy goes into a public pissoir and does his thing, a black guy stood to his right and started doing his thing, so the Jewish guy looks at the other guys peeper, and says how did it get so long, so the black guy says, when we are little mama ties a string to it, and to the string a 5 pound weight.
The Jewish guy says can it be done at my age too, don't know says the black guy, why don't you try.
Three weeks later they meet in the same place, well askes the black guy.
I've got the color allready said the Jewish guy.

A little boy brings his grandfather to the beach to show him something... when they get there, the little boy points to a dead seagull and asks, "what happened to it?" His grandfather replies, "he died and went up to Heaven"... then the little boy stays and thinks a few seconds, then says, "did God throw him back down?"

A boy said to a girl isnt the principle a dumbhead? she said do u know who i am he said no she said im the principal's daughter he said do u know who i am she said no she said good and ran away

here's another 1

a teacher said if i have 10 oranges in 1 hand and 10 in the other what do i have? a student said big hands

A teacher is telling his students that whales have really small throats and that it is impossible for one to swallow a person. Little Sally says," that's not true, Jonah got swallowed by a whale."
The teacher replies to her question, "The bible is a book full of myths, its impossible for a human to get swallowed by a whale.
"Well, when I go to heaven, I will ask Jonah myself." Sally answers.
"What if Jonah went to hell?" The teacher asks.
After giving it a bit of thought, Sally says, "Then I guess you can ask him."

sorta dirty buh.....

A guy picked up a woman at a bar one night and took her home. On the way, she asked him if he had aids. He told her he didn't. At his house she asked again if he had aids, and he assured her that he didn't. In bed, after they had begun to remove their clothes, she stopped and turned to him.

"You're sure you don't have aids?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm sure," he told her, getting a bit annoyed. She finally stopped talking, and they had sex for hours, doing everything imaginable. Afterwards they were laying there in bed and she snuggled up to him.

"Look," she said, " It's too late now, so you might as well tell me if you have aids."

"I told you I don't have aids," he almost yelled.

"Oh, thank god," she sighed, "I wouldn't want to get that again."


haha

Santa: today I made a fool of water?

Banta: how did you do that?

Santa: I heated some water for a bath and bathed with cold water


--------


Santa: My wife is still scared of water

Banta: how come?

Santa: yesterday when i went home,
she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!


----------


Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.

Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
now it's 1.5 ltr.


-----------


banta: you cheated me.

shopkeeper: no, i sold a good radio to you.

banta: radio label shows made in japan but radio says this is all india
radio!


-----------


nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.

santa: don't tell my wife, i want to surprise her!


------------


Everybody was angry with the hike in petrol prices

Santa: Sir, why are you so angry?

Sir: The petrol price is increasing day-by-day, this is not fair.
Santaji, you don't look worried?

Santa: Why should i worry. For me it is the same price.

Sir: how come?

Santa: Earlier also i filled for Rs 100 now also i fill for rs 100!

Sir: ???????????


Santa to Bill Gates




Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur
money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?

Best regards,

Banta Singh

2 old ladies were sitting in the car from may hours...!!
1st lady said : my butt is going 2 sleep..!!
"i know replied the other, "i heard it snore 3 times...!!!"


A group of elephants were sitting on the street..!!
a sexy female passes by,
what dose the loafer elephant say's...?????
36000-24000-36000....!!!!

Girl : if we become engaged will you give me a ring...??
Guy : sure, what's your phone no..???

Pandit Nehru , the first PM of independent India, appointed one Sardar Baldev Singh as the Minister for Defence!
One day he flew from Delhi to Madras in an IAF plane.
The pilot told him :"Sir, we are now crossing the 'Tropic of cancer'!
He got up and said, "Let me see it!"
.........................................

If lemonade is going to get the 10 points so why do you want us all to answer it. Anyway i get 2 points for answering this and all you friend out there have a laugh to the following joke....

Dog "Ole Blue"

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money his parents gave him.


Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here at college that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!"


"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000.


About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"


"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program? "

Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.


The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.


When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all excited. "Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, ' So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street ?'


The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a ***** before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

********

a girlfriend invited her boyfriend to have a dinner with her family. They been dating for a long time, so the girl told the guy that there are going to have sex after the dinner. The guy was so excited because this is his 1st sex. So he went a pharmacy to get condoms. The pharmacist realized that the boy didn' t know anything about condems and sex. So, the pharmacist explained everything in details. The boy gets to his girlfriends house. As they sat down , they decided to pray before eating. The boy didn't open his eyes for a very long time. The girl said to the boy" I didn't know that you were so religious". The boy said to the girl " I didn't know that you dad is a pharmacist.



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