Whats a good joke?!
Question: does anyone know a good joke??? funniest joke gets 10 points.
Answers: does anyone know a good joke??? funniest joke gets 10 points.
(picture 2 muffins getting cooked in the oven)
muffin#1: oh man, it's getting hot in here..
muffin#2: HOLY #@$%! It's a talking muffin!
what do you call hebrew martial arts?
jew-hits-you
first lady mr. bill clinton...
Society.
your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol... JK
whats 8 inches long, in a man's pants, and that women love to blow?
money :)
Here's the best one I've heard in ages:
Hillary Clinton wants to be president.
why was 6 affraid of 7?
cause 7 8 9!
[7 ate 9]
What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere!
What do women and dogcrap have in common?
The older they get the easier it is to pick them up!
No Offense ladies, it's just a joke!
Why was six afraid of seven?
'Cause seven ate nine.
(pitty points?)
A Texan, unhappy with being a member of the second-largest state in America, goes to Alaska to become an Alaskan citizen. He goes into a bar (predictably) and asks the bartender how he can become an Alaskan. The bartender says, "Well, to become a full-blooded Alaskan, you've got to do these three things:
~Drink a pint of whiskey in one gulp
~Make love to an Eskimo
~Shoot a polar bear."
The Texan says, "Okay, I think I can do that. Pour me that whiskey." He drains the pint in one gulp and staggers out of the bar, raging drunk. He returns a few hours later, covered in bloody scratches and gashes, clothes torn. He looks around the bar for a moment and says, "Woah, you Alaskans are TOUGH! Now where's that Eskimo I'm supposed to shoot?"
Try this joke i made up.
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseac...
I like fukingruvin's answer too! LOL
this **** cracks me up so badd hhaha sry its lik old as hell depends who tells it but idk i gues its like an inside joke thing kinda i dc if i get ten points
A duck walks into a hardware store and says to the clerk "Got any grapes?"
The clerk says, patiently, "No, this is a hardware store, we don't have any grapes, try a grocery."
The duck leaves.
The next day the same duck walks into to the same hardware store and says to the clerk (who is, coincidentally, the same clerk) "Got any grapes?"
The clerk says, a little less patiently, "No! Like I told you yesterday, this is a hardware store, we don't sell grapes here."
The duck leaves.
The next day the duck walks into the store again and says to the clerk, "Got any grapes?"
By this time the clerk is thoroughly pissed off with the duck and says "No! We don't have any ******* grapes! This is a hardware store! If you come in here and ask me again I'm going to nail your ******* feet to the floor!"
The duck leaves.
The next day the duck walks into the hardware store and says to the clerk, "Got any nails?"
The clerk, relieved, says, "Finally! A sensable question! But no, I'm sorry, we're all out of nails, I just sold the last package."
And then the duck says, "Good. In that case ... got any grapes?"
ps u better say GWAPES not grapseskj hahhafk
excuse me. brief moment of jus me bein a dumbass haha
Q----what do you put in a pot full of toes?
ANSWER----
pot-a-toes!
POTATOES!!! HAHAHA
is that funny?????
ok well their was a guy and he wanted to go horse-back riding and veiw the countryside. so he goes to this place and the guy there said there are no more horses left. but the other guy pionted to a horse and said well theres a horse right over their so the owner says well that horse comands to different responds and the guys like well just tell me what to say and i'll get it. so the owner tells him when you want the horse to go say "prase the lord" and when you want the horse to stop say "the devil made me do this".... so he gets on his horse and says "praise the lord" and the horse goes. so the guy takes piictures and veiws the contryside when all of a sudden he relized they were heading straight for a clift. and he forgets the commands and says in panic " the devil made me do this" and they were right at the end of the clift and the horse stops and he says in relief..."praise the lord"....... and there he goes.
lol.
bush has a short one
schwartzanagger has a long one
and th pope dosent use it
what am i?
last name
(no not THAT)
police detective asking 2 fools at the morgue about a dead body with no identity ....so the fools look at the cold body and say...tsk........it ain't BOB ....bob have tow assholes,,,,,,,
police man:what about this one?
fools:tsk........it ain't BOB ....bob have tow assholes,,,,,,,
again..
police man:what about this one?
fools:tsk........it ain't BOB ....bob have tow assholes,,,,,,
police man got pissed and say for god sake no one have tow assholes......
fools replay....
well every time we all go to the BAR...the ppls say ..
hey everyone here is BOB and his 2 ASSHOLES...
God says to Adam, "What would you like in a wife?" "Hmmm," says Adam, "I'd like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I'd like her to do whatever I tell her to. I'd like he to work hard, be smart, enjoy being with me." "Hmmmm", God says, "I can do it, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg." "Oh," says Adam, "Well what can I get for a rib?"
From:
This One's VERY FUNNY
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
''Emma come first. I come. Dennis come and Dennis come again. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''
''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''
''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''
GET IT?
Here is another one:
A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.
"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, please come to my house!"
"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."
"Bring them along!" the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."
The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"
Or
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Does it make u laugh?
My freind told me this one:
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm.
"But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend.
"Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Plus
A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss."
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery.
As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs.
He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!"
"No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."
I HOPE THEY WERE VERY FUNNY