OMG... For the ladies, is this not the truth?!


Question: MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I
appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or
Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how
crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and
secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the
curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting
right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging
through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll
be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with
knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'
monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying
jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for
most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent
urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just
because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the
reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach
inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and
there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy
Period."

Are you ******* kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think
happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness -is possible during a menstrual
period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well,
did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there
will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack
yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you
don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a
sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull
your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi
pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent,
like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you
just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX


Answers: MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I
appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or
Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how
crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and
secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the
curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting
right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging
through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll
be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with
knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'
monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying
jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for
most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent
urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just
because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.
Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the
reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach
inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and
there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy
Period."

Are you ******* kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think
happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness -is possible during a menstrual
period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well,
did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there
will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack
yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you
don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a
sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull
your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi
pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent,
like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you
just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

hahahah coooooool

and what period is f.ucking happy? ****. i think it's a all men company LOL

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

you wrote alot!do your fingers hurt

well done sweetie!!! hi 5!

This woman is one truly mad menstruating maniac, I just know what she is on about!!!

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

So very very true. I like it. a star for you!

Always the best, you super b-----!

this is too long no time to read it

Now imagine what we, husbands have to live with!

Ha ha ha ha ha, I LOVE IT!!!!! So true.

haha LOL!!!
x]

Dear Ms Aarons,

Thank you for taking the time to write us here at Proctor & Gamble and share with us your insights regarding our "Always" (*tm) brand of feminine hygene products. Please be assured that we at PG always appreciate any input from users of our legendary consumer products.

We would like to inform you also of some exciting new developments in our prescription pharmaceuticals division.
Always eager to improve the quality of life for the public, our research scientists (as predicted by a number of astute Wall Street analysts) are readying a brand new product for introduction in 3Q (just before the 2009 holiday season!!) that just might address some of your concerns - "Sanerall"(*tm) tablets, "designed for your life" (*tm).

We believe that in the months and years to come, PG Pharmaceuticals "Sanerall" will effectively treat a panopoly of painfull, life-affecting symptoms associated with normal to severe pre-menstrual syndrome, including, but not limited to, cramping, pain, bloating, pain, irritability, pain, mild to severe hormone-enhanced psychoses, pain, depression, mania, compulsive eating, compulsive spending, pain, Electra Complex, psychotic disassociation syndrome, pain, hormone-related other castration syndrome, pain, discomfort, constipation, diarrhea, nausea, pain, and that weird little thing you ladies always do when our single guy friends call us up and want us to go out drinking.

Side effects may include, happily, an enhanced sense of logic, reason, and accountability; an enhanced ability to solve difficult math problems, an enhanced pain tolerance/ability to work for over 8 hours/ability to lift heavy packages, and, strangely, an enhanced ability to "get along" with one's co-workers, supervisor, mother-in-law, etc.
Less desirable side effects may include increased facial or body hair, changes in muscle tone, breast shrinkage, and the development of certain sexual side effects, particularly in the libido.

Be sure to call your doctor immediately if you lose the need to "ask for directions" every five minutes. Ask your doctor about Sanerall (*tm)!!
With Sanerall, your menstrual cycle will change or disappear!! Designed with your life in mind!! (*tm). Available soon in chocolate, peanut butter parfait, and sinfully sugary flavors, for easier swallowing.
Thanks again for contacting us here at Proctor and Gamble! Please don't hestitate to contact us again (preferably after ingesting a large dose of "Sanerall"(*tm).

Best Regards,

Pieter Von Schlos, MBA, Phd (Abnormal Psych/Women's Studies/Biochemistry)
Senior VP, Stakeholder Relations
Proctor and Gamble Corp/PGC Holdings
1 PG Plaza
Boston, MA 01234



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