What is the most funniest joke you have ever heard?!


Question: Everybody please write down the most funniest joke you have ever heard or write down all the jokes you know! I need a good laugh!
So I set you the challenge of finding a joke that makes you laugh so hard that you almost cry!
Thanks everyone!


Answers: Everybody please write down the most funniest joke you have ever heard or write down all the jokes you know! I need a good laugh!
So I set you the challenge of finding a joke that makes you laugh so hard that you almost cry!
Thanks everyone!

There are three nuns... #1 #2 #3... the priest says that god will forgive you if you do something bad so go and do something bad.
#1 goes and steals candy from a baby
#2 goes and robs an bank
#3 goes and comes back laughing

The priest ask #1 what she did.. she told him and he said drink the holy water
Then he ask #2 what she did... she tells him and he says drink the holy water
Then he ask #3 and she starts laughing hard... she says she pissed in the holy water!!!!!!!!

JOKE NUMBER 2
Three men are lost in a forest and see a house with smoke coming out of the chiminey..
The first guy approches the house while his other friends stay and watch.. he knocks the door and ask for food... an ugly lady opens the door and says "in order to get food you must first have sex with me"
The guy says no and runs back to the group... the second guy laughs and says that he is lying and does the same thing and the lady repeats it again...
He runs back to the group laughing and the third one said that he will do it jus cuz he is hungry... he knocks the door and enters.... he notices three carrots on the table... he gets and idea and said that he only likes when he does it from the back... she says okay and turns around..... he sticks the first one in and throws it out the window then smiles.... she says do it again so he takes the second carrot and does it again... then throws it out the window and smiles.... she said do it once more and you will get your food... he slowly picked up the carrot wishing it would be over.. then he sticks it in and throws it out the window and smiles... she gives him the food and then walks out... the wen he reaches the other two guys they have huge smiles on their face and shouted "DUDE THANKS... THAT WAS THE BEST CARROT AND CHEESE WE HAVE EVER H

A man walks into a cafe. In the corner a TV is set for a news channel. There is a blond woman sitting watching, wide-eyed. On the screen, someone is about to jump off a building. The man walks over to the lady, and says, "I bet you $20 he is going to jump." The blond accepts. They stared at the screen. Finally, the person jumped. The lady handed the man a twenty dollar bill. The man rejects it, saying," I'm sorry, that was unfair. I watched the morning news." Then the lady said, "Hey, well, I watched it too. But I didn't think he was going to jump again."

~OR~

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.

The blond replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."

Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.

Again, the blond replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."

The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blond with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.

She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.

He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."


hope u like! even if i don't get best answer, i luv sharing these.

3 men go into a store to to buy toilets and the first one gets a metal toilet the 2nd buts a wooden toilet and the 3rd buys a singing toilet yes a singing toilet so they all go home and the next day they come back with complaints the 1st said " i put my metal toilet in the sun and it got to hot " the 2nd one said said " i got splinters in my butt " and then the 3rd said " mine sings "do you see what i see? do you see what i see?"!!!!!!!!!

How to Argue the Price of a Screw

A well known, rich business man's wife broke her hip. The business man got the best orthopedic surgeon in town to do the operation, which consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it.The operation went smoothly, and the doctor sent the business man a bill for $5,000 for his services. The business man, outraged at the high price, sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor responded to the letter with the following:1 Screw: $1.00. Knowing how to put it in: $4,999Total: $5,000The business man never argued.



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