Short joke...star if u like...:)?!
Question: Q: How does a widow know her former husban cheated on her?
A: The hot blonde upstairs complains she's beeing haunted...
if u respond with a good joke I might pick it as a best answer...:)so go ahead
Answers: Q: How does a widow know her former husban cheated on her?
A: The hot blonde upstairs complains she's beeing haunted...
if u respond with a good joke I might pick it as a best answer...:)so go ahead
nice one...i've never heard it LOL !
I HAVE SOME !!!
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
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Next Blonde Joke>>
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
( i know u have heard that one)
NEXT !!!!
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
someone explain this one to me. i think i understand. but it's weeeird.
there was this one time at band camp...
i dont really like it it needs a better punch line
What do you call a fish without any eyes?
A fshhhhhh. Haha. Because it doesn't have an 'i' in it. xD
how does darth vader know what luke is getting for his birthday
he feels his presents
St.Peter Joke
3 guys show up at the gates of heaven and st.Peter says 'heaven is almost full and only people with the most horrible deaths can come in....'
the first guy tells his story
'i have suspected my wife of cheating so i snuck home early to catch her!i ran in to find her in bed looking flustered so i searched the house,eventually i spot the guy holding on;hanging off the balcony railing!oh he was a slick one so i grabbed a hammer and snuck up and smashed his hands and he fell!but the bugger didn't die hew was in a bush about 5 floors down still moving,so i got the new wardrobe and dropped it over onto him!and killed him!but the wardrobe was surprisingly heavy nd all that strain gave me a heart attack and i died'
st.peter: 'that sounds horrible!go on into heaven'
2nd guy tells his story; so i was exercising on my 6Th floor balcony when it broke and i fell,luckily i caught a balcony below and held on,i thought i was saved when Mr.Philip came home but after a few minits something hit my hands and i fell, luckily i survived but then a wardrobe dropped on me!and i died,of all the luck!!!
st.peter:'you poor man,go on into heaven'
3rd guy tells his story: 'so picture this,I'm hiding in my girlfriends wardrobe....'
lol! well i thought it was funny!
sorry but somethings missing But in all ok
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then said: "You have to shove the all of the fruit that you brought back up your butt without any expression on your face and without making any noise or you'll be eaten." The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed. The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh? you almost got away with it!" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples."
Three women, a blonde, brunette and red head were doing a breastroke swimming race across the sea to France.
The red head came first, followed closely by the brunette. They then started to wait for the blonde. It got darker, and many people began to wonder what had happened to the blonde. They started to send out coastguard helicopters.
Finally, the blonde arrived, 5 hours late. She dragged herself out of the water, and walked over to the judge of the race.
She then said, "Excuse me, I'm not trying to complain, but I think the two other girls used their arms."
The house help said to her madam that she wanted an increase in pay.
Madam:Why should I give you an increase.
Sara: Because I'm a better cook than you.
Madam: Who said so?
Sara: the boss
Madam: what else.
Sara: I'm a better lover than you.
Madam: now very cross. Who said so the f^*% boss.
Sara: No madam the gardener.
She got her increase.
a man an a woman are traveling on the same road, going different directions. they both are in no hurry to go anywhere, yet they are traveling at very high speeds. the two cars are about to pass eachother, but one car loses control and sends both cars flipping into the woods. the drivers climb out of the cars, and amazingly, neither of them are hurt. the woman from one of the cars goes to the other driver and seeing that he is okay says, "wow, neither of us were hurt, and im a woman, and you're a man, this must be a sign from god"
the man agrees and the woman says, "we were both going very fast, but weren't headed anywhere in particular, this must be a sign from god that we should meet"
the man agrees, and says "yeah you're right"
they both go to examine their cars, knowing the other is ok.
the woman goes back to talk to the man, with a bottle of wine in her hand.
"everything in may car is smashed to bits, ruined. the only things unscathed are me and this bottle of wine, this must be a sign from god that he wanted us to not only meet, but to enjoy this bottle of wine together" the man agrees and the woman commences to open the bottle. after she opens the bottle, she hands it to the man, who drinks half of it and hands it back to her.
she takes it but doesnt drink it. the man asks her if she is going to drink the rest, she says, "no thanks, i think ill just wait for the police to show up"
=)
The other jokes were good...Sorry, I don't understand yours.
The blonde upstairs says she's being haunted.
Widow: I think that if you stopped attempting to have sex with the bed, you'd stop hallucinating. Then again, it might be too late.