Seeing Clearly now?!
Question: There was this cop and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.
One day he went to work at the station and discovered that a woman rookie officer had joined the force. Her name was Officer Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But this cop was a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.
He decided that there was nothing else he could do but to break up with Lorraine and get it on with the new rookie. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. One day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current was strong and it carried her off and she drowned.
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing........
"I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone"
Answers: There was this cop and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.
One day he went to work at the station and discovered that a woman rookie officer had joined the force. Her name was Officer Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But this cop was a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.
He decided that there was nothing else he could do but to break up with Lorraine and get it on with the new rookie. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. One day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current was strong and it carried her off and she drowned.
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing........
"I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone"
Oh no LOL Have a star anyway :-)
haha kinda messed up but still funny
erm..he he?
I saw that coming the moment you said officer clearly!
Very funny
Hahaha very good
Not bad ha ha ,,,
Omg. CRUEL but made me laugh
That was awful...but funny.
Very funny hahahahaahahaa
awwwww....poor Lorraine. But it was funny.
The Piano Tuner
Mrs. Smith needed to have her piano tuned so she asked a friend for a recommendation. She then made an appointment with the piano tuner, Mr. Oppernockity. He arrived 2 days later, tuned the piano satisfactorily, and left. Several days later Mrs. Smith noticed that the piano was terribly out of tune again. She called the tuner to complain about the tuning and to ask for a return visit to solve the problem. However, the tuner replied, "I'm sorry ma'am, but Oppernockity only tunes once!"
ME!
Also NEW!!! Hillbilly Medical Terms
Benign................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.................What you do with dead folks.
Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.
Colic...............A sheep dog.
Coma...............A punctuation mark.
Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do.
Enema.............Not a friend.
Fester............Quicker than someone else.
Fibula............A small lie.
G.I.Series.........World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on.
Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.
Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates.
Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Node....................I knew it.
Outpatient..............A person who has fainted.
Pelvis...................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative...........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery.
Secretion.......Hiding something
Tablet..........A small table to change babies on.
Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor...............More than one.
Varicose............Near by
.
ouch! not bad...
I heard a similar joke but the other girl was called Claire Lee instead of officer Clearly. Still made me smile though x.
pmslol very funny.
lol, i think it was originally that he got a new girl called Deirdre, so it was 'i can see Deirdre now Lorraine has gone.'
:)
Good one. It's like:-
A litle boy was given a Teddy bear as a present. Unfortunatley, its eyes were crossed and the father couldn't do anything to rectify it. The mother asked him, What are you going to call your bear? The boy replied, Gladly. Why? asked the mother. Because it's what they taught me at Sunday school, said the boy. Oh, said the mother, And what was that?
Gladly, the cross eyed bear, said the boy.
Hahahahhahahahahaaaaa.....are you sure the meds arn't affecting you...lol
hahahha
still laughing
heh.....