Remember Tommy Cooper's silly jokes?!
Question: Subject: Tommy Cooper quips
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."
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Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the Other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up And starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls
out: 'Can I help sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
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"Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaagghhhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in."
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"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
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Answers: Subject: Tommy Cooper quips
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."
----------
Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
----------
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the Other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
----------
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up And starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls
out: 'Can I help sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
----------
"Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaagghhhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in."
----------
"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
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The man was a comic genius. Just like Max Miller (or so I heard from my Dad). His best short joke was:-
I was sitting on the Piccadilly line tube, when it suddenly came to a halt and everyone was thrown about. I neded up with a pretty young girl on my lap, who asked, " Excuse me, but is this Cockfosters?" and I replied, The name's Miller, ma'am."
None of those jokes would sound funny unless you imagined Tommy telling them, at which point they become hilarious!
Brilliant...love the guide dog being swung around and the aeroplane one too(three!!)?
Simplicity was his trademark a rare breed!!
silly jokes. only the 2nd last one is good.
well yeah heard them
the way he puts them is more hilarious than when you read it but then thanks for the laughs
Hahahaha! Those are so funny! Espescially the airplane one!
ha ha ha
Lol =]
funny stuff =]
yeah they all sucked
he was ace ,,,very funny man cheers for the jokes,,,
lol
Yes,"just like that" and he really was a member of the Magic Circle. Well missed entertainer!