Does anyone have ''dirty jokes''!!!!?!
Question: they are the best!!
Answers: they are the best!!
Nine Months Later...
A test of Trust:
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught
in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, ER, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out,
"I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name.
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy.
I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
(You thought the ending would be different, didn't you?...now keep that smile for the rest of the day
filling your empty time with your so called "dirty jokes" is a horrible way to live so just GROW UP!!!
how do you know Micheal Jackson's been in your house?
the dogs pregnant there's no clothes on the washing line and the dog beds covered in something that looks like mayonnaise
Good Liar
A man tells his wife that he’s going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it’s closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he’s in this girl’s apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.
"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"
She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she’s furious. "Where the hell have you been!"
He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.
"You liar, you were out bowling again!"
Steve and Phil two travelling salesmen experience car trouble late one night on the side of the road. they see a farm and knock on the door. an old lady answers and they tell her their problem. she says they can stay the night if one of them sleeps with her. finally after a long time Steve says "I'll do it as long as you dont tell anybody"
The old lady leads steve into her bedroom, on the way he sees a bag of corn so he gets an idea. when they enter the room he tells her he is going to step out to prepare himself. he says to turn off the lights to make it more romantic.
so he comes back in and starts bangin her with corn. she tells him she wants more, but the piece of corn is all mushy. he throws it out the window and picks up another piece of corn and does the same thing. she didn't want to stop until he ran outta corn and told her no more. she said "you were fantastic" they both go to sleep.
next morning phil asks steve how was it. steve said don't worry about it, mind your business. steve asks phil how did he sleep phil said good. he also said that he went out for a smoke in the middle of the night and found some delicious creamed corn out side.
HAHAHA!! Joe's joke =)