See how lawyers think on their feet?!


Question: These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges
were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: Did you check for breathing?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > >A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> > >Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> > >A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and pra cticing law
> > >somewhere


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


Answers: These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges
were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: Did you check for breathing?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > >A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> > >Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> > >A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and pra cticing law
> > >somewhere


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

My brother is a lawyer,what a way to start the day.Thank you so much.

They say that only cockroaches and lawyers will survive a nuclear war.

Old ones but gud...

Which just goes to show that lawyers just don't listen

lol its sort of funny



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