Do u have a joke ?!
Question: Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.
I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside.
I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.
I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.
Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is till ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.
The phone is still ringing with no let up, I finally got back to answer it."
The pharmacist continues, "It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!!!"
Answers: Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.
I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside.
I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.
I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.
Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is till ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.
The phone is still ringing with no let up, I finally got back to answer it."
The pharmacist continues, "It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!!!"
Yes, I do!
No I don't, I just made this one up though it's a yo mumma joke,
Yo mumma's so fat!
Lol :D
This duck walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"
The bartender says, "No, we only sell beer here." The duck leaves.
The next day the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"
The bartender says, "No, I told you we only sell beer, and if you ask me again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.” So the duck leaves.
The next day the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender, “Do you have any nails?" The bartender says, "No."
The duck asks, “Do you have any grapes?"
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Shakey said to the psychiatrist, "Doc, everytime I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. You got to help me!"
"Come to me three times a week for 2 years & I'll cure your fears",said the doctor. "And I'll charge you $200 a visit."
"I'll think about it",said Shakey.
Six months later, the doctor met Shakey on the street and asked why he never came to see him.
"For 200 bucks a visit? A bartender cured me for $10"
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed."
give me best answer.