Ok i am starting a joke book but i don't have any jokes can you give me some!


Question: Oh and give me the answer to.


Answers: Oh and give me the answer to.

two guys go drinking. after several rounds, one of them gets up and stumbles into the bathroom. the other guy is at the bar drinking his scotch. all of the sudden, the bartender hears a series of screams coming from the bathroom. "hey, isn't your buddy in there?" he asks the drunk. "yeah, i think i'll go check on him." he goes into the bathroom and asks his friend what the hell he is doing. "every time i flush the toilet, something reaches from the toilet and grabs my nuts!" his friend looks at him for a moment and says "you idiot! your sitting on the mop bucket!"

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, ''When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.''

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, ''I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'' The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, ''It's just 99 cents a word.''

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, ''I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.''' The telegraph operator shakes his head. ''How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'" The brunette explains, ''My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.''

A blonde was tired of being made fun of. She ddecided to memorize the capital of every state. It wasn't easy, but she did it. One night, she heard two men laughing at a blonde joke. this was her chance to set things right! She walked up to the men and said blondes aren't as dumb as you think go ahead. ask the capital of any state! So the men thought and took the chalange. The men said arizona. the blonde thought and after a while she said "A"



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