Doctor jokes?!
Question: Does anyone remember the old doctor jokes. See how many we can remember between us.Come on indulge me i am off work today ill.
Answers: Does anyone remember the old doctor jokes. See how many we can remember between us.Come on indulge me i am off work today ill.
an old man of 95 goes to see his doctor and tells him he is getting married to a 26 year old woman and asks if the doctor could see anything wrong with him getting married...the doctors says "will you be having a sexual relationship with this woman" the old man replies "yes of course I will" the doctor tells the old man that this could be fatal...the old man thinks for a minute and then replies "well if she dies, she dies
guy rides into the doctors on the back of a sheep, with a pancake on his head, a mars bar behind his ear and a string of vegetables round his neck, playing "hey mickey" on a kazoo.
doctor, puzzled looks at him and asks "what appears to be wrong today?"
guy: "im worried about my brother"
which one huh??
Dr Dr............etc
I think I'm a pair of curtains ......... Pull yourself together.
My wife thinks I'm crazy .......... Would you like fries with that?
There's a bit of lettuce sticking out my bum ......... That's only the tip of the iceberg.
Get well soon and don't go to the doctor doctor.
Guy walks into a doctors and say's 'Doctor it hurts when I do this with my elbow' (Tries manevouring his elbow into a funny position).
The doctor replies 'Well stop doing it then'
ahahaha!
a doctor walk into a bar......ouch
i don't get it ...
A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.
"Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"
guy goes into the doc's office ,has a big *****,can't get to go down. doc. has look at the appendage and while messing around a little red bug jumps off and runs across the floor,immediately the ***** goes away. guy say gosh thanks doc, what do i owe you ?doc say "NOTHING IF YOU HELP ME CATCH THAT BUG"
A------DOCTOR DOCTOR MY WIFE IS GOING TO DELIVER A BABY
B-------SO WHAT SHOULD I DO
A-------CAN YOU ADMITT HER IN YOUR HOSPITAL
B-------NO
A-------WHY
B-------MY WIFE IS NURSE HERE
A-------SO
B-------SHE WILL KILL YOUR WIFE
A-------WHY
B-------BECAUSE YOUR WIFE IS MOTHER OF MY CHILD
I worked in a hospital and the things I tell are true personal experience
One day a patient who attempted to kill himself was taken into the A&E (ER), but the doctor in the A&E was so busy that he had no time to see him but said to him, 'just hang in there'.
Not funny?
This one is rude, so look away if you are easily offended.
I was explaining a sperm test result to a patient,
'Your husband's sperm count is fine, motility and functions are ok, it is just that there is a high number of white blood cells....
Then the patient said, 'could that be from my mouth?'
'Er......
I went to the doctors yesterday and he told me I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. Well, he didn't say it exactly, but we knew he was thinking it.
Girl goes to the doctors with a chest infection.
Doctor takes out his stethoscope and says "big breaths"and the girl says "Yeth and I'm only thixteen"
And a man goes to the doctor complaining that he cannot pronouce his f's.and th's and the doctor replies " you can't say fairer than that then."
That's it for now .Take care GET WELL SOON.
Another man goes to the doctors(the docs very busy today and It's all your fault) Doctor I think my wife's going through the change. what makes you think that said the doc.
"I'm sure I had more coins than that this morning" said the patient.
Patient: Doctor doctor, i keep thinking i'm a tee pee and a marquee, whats wrong with me?
Doctor: Your too tense...
Patient: doctor doctor, i keep thinking i'm a cat.
Doctor: How long as this been going on?
Patient: Since i was a kitten