Any good Chuck Norris facts?!
Question: 01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Answers: 01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Ive heard he can eat captain crunch and it doesn't even hurt he roof of his mouth--LOL
he has an amazing body......mmmmmmmmmmm
His first name is Carlos -- just like his father.
Trained by Jack Huang in OK. My daughter went to him. Norris is a very nice man.
Behind his beard is another fist!
he has a moustache
no but check this....
Jesus walks on water, chuck norris walks on jesus
lol ummm before all the "Chuck Norris" jokes, he was a very accomplished Kickboxer.
A man once known for half-decent action movies has been reduced to making infomercials for exercise equipment? :o)
Chuck norris is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... overrrated
I know you mean those funny "facts" but something that's real: He's a bible thumping conservative who'd shove his beliefs down anyone else's throat given the chance
When he does a push-up, he doesn't push himself up; he pushes the world down.
what colour is chuch norris' blood? thats a trick question Chuck Norris doesnt bleed!
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris ejaculates, it scores an 8 on the Richter Scale.
Chuck Norris is always on top during sex, because Chuck Norris never fucks up.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
his balls are made of steel..
when god said let there be light, it was chuck norris who said 'say please'
chuck norris does not own a coffee maker - he grinds the beans with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.
http://www.historyaddict.com/chucknorris...
youtube.com/doesitblend
no it does not blend, really funny podcasts on an old guy who blends everything
He and his wife are supporting Mike Huckabee in the Presidential campaign.
Norris rode out in a convertible on The Price is Right $1,000,000 Spectacular in 2003 to wish Bob Barker a happy 80th birthday. He also helped a contestant win the convertible playing the Lucky $even game. Norris had instructed Bob Barker in karate for years.
He is a shrimp with the "little man" complex.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
can make connect Four in three moves.....Set a record for eating a 72oz steak in 45 minutes, the first thirty were spent bangong the waitress....
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist
The atom bomb isn’t real.. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground..
There are bunch on http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
but for some reason my favorite it,
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.