What's the funniest joke you can remember?!
Question: Clean or dirty, I don't mind
Answers: Clean or dirty, I don't mind
What's the hardest part about skateboarding?
Telling your parents you're gay.
What does a lady elephant use as tampons?
Ans: A sheep
What did one lesbian from say to the other lesbian frog?
Their right....we do taste like chicken! LOL
knock knock
whos there
butterfly
butterfly who
butterfly
im trying to remember
random person> I tried to change my hotmail pass word to penis.
random person> They said it wasnt long enough.
This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey mister horse why the long face".
this one>>>>> "hey wats up?????????????!!!!!!!!!!"
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill ??
To get to the bottom !! haha
Why did the hen cross the road ??
It was the chickens day off !! WOOOT
Why did the wally climb over the galss wall ??
To see what was on the other side !! Rofl
Whats small, red and sits in an orange tree ??
A stupid strawberry !!!! LOL !!!!
everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die..
chinese man goes to eye doctor, docter tells him "Mr. Wong you have a cataract" Mr. Wong looks at him funny and says " no, i dont i have a rincoln continental"
Joke: Your so fat, you went to In n Out and never came OUT!
a mexican and a black guy jump off a bridge... who wins?
society
Horse comes into the bar and kicks everybody off their stools. The bartender says, "why in this world did you do that?"
The horse said, "Well, they were there!"
One day, Chucky came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before. Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying here on a cloud.
She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Chucky figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Chucky saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Chucky really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Chucky couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed got the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar. Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker-looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Chucky.
Apprehensively, Chucky whispers, "Who are you?" The biker answers, "I'm Cess."
WHy Do girls win fights 99.9%?
WHy?
Cuz they're Brain NINJAS!
Einstein, Picasso, and George W. Bush has to prove at the gates of haven if they are really the ones whom they claim themselves to be.
a guy walks into a bar and asks for 12 martinis. The bartenders asks "so what are you celebrating?" The man replies "I'm celebrating my first BJ" The bartender says" congratulations, here's 13 martinis, one's on the house" The man says "no thanks, if 12 doesn't get that taste out of my mouth, nothing will"
what does a witch put in her coffee? sugar and SCREAM!
a lil boy ask his dad if he can take a shower w/ him. the dad says yes as long as u don't look down. of course the kid looks down. he says WOAH WHAT IS THAT? the dad says it's a motorcycle. he then ask his mom if he can take a shower w/ her. she says sure just don't look up or down. of course he does. he looks up and says WOAH WHAT ARE THOSE? she says those are my porch lights. he then looks down and says WHAT IS THAT. she says that's my garage. he then ask if he can sleep w/ his mom and dad. they say yes just not 2 look under the sheets. of course he looks under the sheets. he screams MOMMY MOMMY TURN ON YOUR PORCH LIGHTS AND OPEN THE GARAGE DOOR...DADDY IS COMING IN WITH HIS MOTORCYCLE!
lol it's hilarious
There are three men in a plane.
The first one drops a toothpick, the second drops a fork and the third drops a bomb.
When they land the first man goes up to a little boy.
"Little boy why are you crying?"
"A toothpick fell in my mommy's eye."
The second man goes up to a little girl.
"Little girl why are you crying?"
"A fork fell and hit my Mommy."
The third man goes up to a set of twins.
"Little Kids why are you laughing?"
"My mom farted and blew up the house!"
there was a chinese dude,mexican dude,black dude, and a white dude on top of a cliff. the chinese dude jumped off and said this is for my people. the mexican dude jumped off and said this is for my people. the black dude pushed the white dude off the cliff and said THIS is for MY people.
How do you get an Elephant in a train?
Hint:
Take the s out of sub and the f out of way.
*I made this up*
A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink and the bartender said " Hey buddie, why the long face?"
what is invisible and smells like carrots
bunny farts!
sorry the best i could do
this 45 year old guy goes in a bar. an attractive woman about 50 sits next to him and they start talking. they hit it off well and later the woman asks the man if he's ever been with a mother and daughter at the same time. He answers no. "it's your lucky day" she responds. She takes him back to her place for the fun. She unlocks the front door, opens it and yells "Maa, you still up"?
so there's this legless man lying on the beach one day, and three beautiful girls walk up to him and strike up a conversation. the first girl asks him, "have you ever been hugged?", guy says, "no." the second girl asks "well, have you ever been kissed?", and again, the guy says, "no." then, the third girl says to him, "so, you've never been f*cked?" and, getting increasingly anxious, the guy finally says, "boy, this must be my lucky day!" and as the first two girls start giggling and running away, the last one says "it sure is--the tide's coming in!"
go to you youtube.com and check out eli's dirty jokes episode 5 is hilliarius
I just forgot
ohhhh the funniest i can remember was one i saw yesterday. ok so heres the joke:
so theres this guy at the hospital right. and so he had gotten like umm surgery or something AND so liek after 3 weeks or somtthing or 3 days or whatever, this nurse came into his room. with a clipboard.
and the guy asks "are my testicles black?"
yeah you know what testicles are right? yeah moving on..
so the nurse is like "erm im not supposed to check that. im suppposed to like doing something esle(i forgot whatr she had to do)"
and the guy repeats," are my testicles black?"
and shes like oh ill just check them. and so she removes his sheet and pulls up that dress thingy hes wearing. and shes like "OHMY! YES THEY ARE. I THINK THEYRES SOMETHING WRONG!"(or something like that)
and then he goes closer to her and whispers, "are my T-E-S-T- -R-E-S-U-L-T-S back?"
pwaha. do you get it? yeah nothing to get but yeah..she musta felt so embarrassed!!
my friend showed it on a website called like somethingtolaugh.com idk something like that.
{edit}***wtf. the asker DID say "clean or dirty, i dont mind"
gosh. you people raters arre so friggin mean.