The Day of Judgement?!


Question: The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.

"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.

After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.

Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".

Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.

With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"


Answers: The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease.
St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions.
Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue.

"Pete, take a break and I'll do this for a while".
So Jesus takes over and asks each potential resident their name, occupation, and number of children, where applicable.

After a time, an old, feeble man appears before him.
"Your name sir?" asks Jesus
"I don't know" replies the man.
"Occupation?"
Again the old man replies that he doesn't recall.
"Number of children?"
"No clue" says the man.

Somewhat exasperated, Jesus starts anew. "Your name really isn't that important. However, your occupation is. Please concentrate sir; what did you do for a living, how did you gain your livelihood?"
The old man, lost in thought, slowly starts to piece it together.
"Well," he says "I can recall working with my hands a lot. In fact, looking at the splinters in my palms, I'd have to say that I was a carpenter."
"Excellent and honorable occupation sir. Well done! Now for the next step: How many, if any, children did you have?"
Once again the old man furrows his brow and tries desperately to remember.
After a long while he says "I'm almost sure I had one child and since I can't remember any dresses or dolls, I'm sure the child was a boy.
And one more thing, this boy of mine was ostracized because he had holes in his hands, his feet, and his sides".

Finally piecing the story together, Jesus jumps to his feet, the ultimate realization of who he has encountered striking him like a bolt of lightning.

With tears in his eyes, he yells "Father!!"
The old man, equally moved, rises and screams "Pinocchio!!"

mechelle, yet another awesome joke. Pardon me while I lay the smaketh downeth to a heathen.



JesusFreak08: Dude, how long you been on here? People constantly put jokes out on this forum, JOKES AND RIDDLES, that don't contain a question, per se. It is NOT a violation of the rules, so please, please, stop trying to play the Yahoo Answer's Police. If your not happy with someones post/question, there's this magic button on your Internet browser, it's referred to as the "back button". I highly recommend you get in touch with that button, it should be your best friend. Because the next time you have nothing good to contribute to a poster's question (or thoughts, joke, whatever), use the back button and just skip to the next one.



I leave you all with a movie quote.... see if there's anyone you know that this could apply too.


"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."

laughed my socks off ty have a star

lol
x

Wicked! great stuff.

Sheer classic, lol very much :-)

good one, made me laugh

ROFL!!! I didn't see that coming. Brilliant!

hahaha

Very good thanks very funny.

awwwwwwwww thats soooo funny!!!

OHHH You bad girl!!! :)

LOL!!

:)

Blind/sided! Did not see that one coming! Good one! lol.

pmsl

nice
Have a star :)

haha very good

Kevin J, JesusFreak08 has been here a looooong time. WOnder why he has never realized it..

err, this site is for questions...



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