Good one-liner endings?!
Question: Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." But before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Answer #5
Upon getting into an elevator a passenger asked, "Is this lift going up?" "No, replied someone at the back, "We're going to fool everyone this time and go sideways."
Answer #6
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" The smart-*** at the back quickly raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Answers: Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." But before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Answer #5
Upon getting into an elevator a passenger asked, "Is this lift going up?" "No, replied someone at the back, "We're going to fool everyone this time and go sideways."
Answer #6
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" The smart-*** at the back quickly raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
haha very funny
Number 4.
Am going to use number 5 the next time the lift doors open!! HAHAHAH
Answer 5
The fifth one. Nothing beats brevity with a touch of the absurd.
The number six is such a low blow!!!
Brilliant!!! xD xD xD
Have a star! *
well.lol
LMAO
LOL
Good collection :)
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
bwahahaha
great lol
all are excellent!
oooohhh. that's good!!
(**)
Now, I really have to go to sleep....
Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..!!!!
Thanks for that :)
number 6 made me laugh the hardest
Lmao, very sharp.
brilliant!!!
All are great, but 1, 5 & 6 really had me in stitches...........
LOL,,,,,,,# 5 is hilarious
lol.
*Smiles!!!*
answer#1
All fantastic! lol.
Lol loved them all,here have a star.xxx