Tell me a really funny and sick joke!!?!


Question: Don't fill it with crappy ones like:

" What did the big telephone say to the little telephone?
a. You're too young to be engaged!"

and think it's funny, cause it just aint


Answers: Don't fill it with crappy ones like:

" What did the big telephone say to the little telephone?
a. You're too young to be engaged!"

and think it's funny, cause it just aint

Sperm Count
An 85-year-old went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day, the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:

"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. she tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing."

"We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."

hahahah that is HILARIOUS 0_o

Watch borat.

99% of women close their eyes whilst kissing, which is why it's so hard to identify rapists.

Why do women smile when they walk down the aisle?






Coz they know they have given their last b**w j*b!!! lol


Or what about ......



I wish my grass was EMO, then it would cut itself!!

what's the last thing to go through a flies mind when it hits your windscreen?........it's butt! lol happy new year x

didn't know **** was a swear word lol

What's blue and doesn't fit?




A dead epileptic.

With the festive season upon us,don`t forget that a doggie is not just for Christmas.It`s a damn good position any time of the year!!

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is
galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."

The lady can't take this any more,
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly.

"In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives.

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell
'Mississippi'."

A young girl wakes up in the hospital crying" Doctor I can't feel my legs."
The Doctor said "That's because we had to amputate your arms."



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