I'm angry and sad rite now.. any good jokes?!


Question: i want to hear some funny jokes.. not stupid chicken crossing the roads jokes


Answers: i want to hear some funny jokes.. not stupid chicken crossing the roads jokes

ur dog is barking in the front doorr, ur wife is barking at the back doorr...
who do u let in first???

its ur call......ur dog will stop barking after u let it in.

************************

a man went to the suopermarket then saw a attractive yet familiar womann

her walks up to her saying' do i know u'?

she said"i think u r the father of one of my kid'

the man was shcoked" omg, r u the woman i met in the party where i got all drank and couldn.t think properly then raped u and u got pregnent and wanted to keep the baby so, i ran away from .?

the woman said calmly' no, i'm ur son's teacher.

**************************************...

why does beyonce go to the left to the left

cuz black people has no rights

(no offence)


****************************

the teacher asked the class, why are girls talller than boys when they are 12-14.
a smart alec said' cuz we have balls and they drag us down.
the teacher then asked." then how come the girls grow slower during the age of 15-18.
the smart alec said' cuz girls has heavier boobs and they drag them down."

Chase is very pleased to announce that we are installing new
Drive-thru ATMs where customers will be able withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicle. (Other accounts can also utilise
this facility) Male and Female procedures have been tailored to
best reflect the behaviors of those particular groupings.

PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS:

1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Open the car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and press "enter"
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Close window
7. Drive away

PROCEDURE FOR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:

1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Reverse back the required distance to align car with ATM
3. Re-start stalled engine
4. Open the car window
5. Find handbag, empty all contents onto the passenger seat and locate card
6. Turn radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into ATM
8. Open car door to allow easier access to ATM due to excessive distance
between car and ATM
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Ignore the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
12. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate diary with PIN
written on the inside back page under "Date of Birth"
13. Enter PIN
14. Press "cancel" and re-enter PIN
15. Enter amount of cash required and check make-up in rearview mirror
16. Drum fingertips on steering wheel for one minute, then look at ATM and
press "enter"
17. Retrieve cash and receipt
18. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate purse and
place cash inside
19. Place receipt in back of cheque book
20. Re-check make-up
21. Drive forward two metres
22. Reverse back to ATM ignoring the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
23. Retrieve card
24. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate card holder
and place card in an empty slot
25. Drive two or three kilometres
26. Release hand brake


Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
because it was dead

Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree?
because it was tied to the 1st monkey

Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree?
peer preasure

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
it was doing a monkey impression.

Heres is a good one:

Valentine Gift Test

Which Valentine's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive....

1. Candy
2. Flowers
3. A sweet poem
4. Sex
5. Dinner/Dancing
6. Waffle iron

1. CANDY

It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love.

2. FLOWERS

It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die.

3. A SWEET POEM

It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word.

4. SEX

It means that... You are a passionate soul, a free spirit who is not afraid to express your sexuality with another consenting adult and feel that the physical side of love can be meaningful and beautiful. OR... You're a filthy degenerate who is no better than a rutting animal living solely for one carnal experience after another.

5. DINNER/DANCING

It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor.

6. WAFFLE IRON

It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.

Here is a link to more jokes:

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index...

lol.com - some pretty funny jokes. I hope you have time though because a lot of them are pretty long. It's worth it though- they're funny!

What do u call A deer with no eye?

A man with extreme faith in god is out alone in the middle of the ocean (I guess he is just floating or something)

A boat comes by and the man in the boat asks the man in the water if he would like some help. The man in the water says, "No thank you, God will save me." So the man in the boat just keeps going past.

A second boat comes by and the man in the boat asks the man in the water if he would like some help. The man in the water says, "No thank you, God will save me." So the man in the boat just keeps going past.

A third boat comes by and the same thing happens. The guy in the boat offers help and the man in the water says "No thank you."

Finally the guy in the water can no longer stay afloat I guess, so he drowns and when he gets to heaven he says "God, why didnt you say me?"

Then God responds, "Well i sent you THREE BOATS you idiot!"

Are you on your period?
Need some cranberries Juice?



The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007 enter-qa.com -   Contact us

Entertainment Categories