WHat do you people think of my stories
As a patch of warm sunlight fell on the soft green grass, the grass basked in the warmth. Little did anyone know that there was a peice of crystaly smooth glass sneaking nothing but its little head up from the grass, and with the light from the sun and the grass around one would mistake it was an emearald. No one seemed to notice its presenace until a little child no older than 8 years of age stummbled upon it while playing a fasincating game of jungle explorers. Immeadailty stunned child with a luster in her eyes, and her brown curly hair ran to her house holding it high up in her hand, her floweyr dress complimented her her fair white skin, if was soft like a peach and her eyes blue as an ocean. She ran home as fast as her pint sizd legs could carry her, once she got home she ran into the kitchen calling her
Answers: ok ill be putting more parts of the story in my QA profile thingy, so if you like it be sure to add me to contacts and check out the other parts of my story.
As a patch of warm sunlight fell on the soft green grass, the grass basked in the warmth. Little did anyone know that there was a peice of crystaly smooth glass sneaking nothing but its little head up from the grass, and with the light from the sun and the grass around one would mistake it was an emearald. No one seemed to notice its presenace until a little child no older than 8 years of age stummbled upon it while playing a fasincating game of jungle explorers. Immeadailty stunned child with a luster in her eyes, and her brown curly hair ran to her house holding it high up in her hand, her floweyr dress complimented her her fair white skin, if was soft like a peach and her eyes blue as an ocean. She ran home as fast as her pint sizd legs could carry her, once she got home she ran into the kitchen calling her
nice beginning
shorten sentences. a few were run-ons.
you have a lot of generic adjectives in there. try and be a little more creative when you're describing something. try not to make it all description too - add a little more meat to the story within the descriptions. but that will get better once you have less generic descriptions
spelling is pretty sad - but you'll pick that up after your first draft i'm sure.
also try using synonyms - you use the word 'grass' WAY too many times in the first few sentences - it was kind of a turn off.
good plot line though - once you clean it up it will get better. :) good luck!
Good job... and very nice details about every little thing. Keep writing.
You have a good start to a story, but there are many errors in grammar and spelling. Using too many adjectives leaves the story confusing, so don't go overboard with them. Watch your run-on sentences. Try to ascertain whether or not a thought can stand alone as a sentence, and then shorten the sentence accordingly. I wish you the best with your finished product!